Pain Barrier

Newport Town Reserves  2  Audley Reserves  1

Staffordshire County Senior League – Division Two

It really wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The plan was a simple one, on a fine Autumnal morning I was going to rise from my slumber and make the long journey up the M6 to the Cumbrian outpost that is Cleator Moor. Cleator Moor Celtic are a new addition to the North West Counties League, and being located just to the East of Whitehaven, it was going to be right at the top of the arduous journey list for this season.

I’d psyched myself up for it by preparing two changes of clothing for the journey, a blanket in case of ending up stranded, and a fully stocked emergency survival kit. I went to Barrow once, I know what to expect…..

But, two things happened in the build up to the game against AFC Liverpool in the week prior. 

Firstly, some bastard of a storm by the name of Callum was forecast to deposit a ridiculous quantity of rain over the North West of England, and as the week wore on, this seemed to be narrowing down to effectively Cumbria, which look set to be washed away.

Secondly, what started out as a niggling pain in my left arm, ended up with an emergency GP appointment on Thursday that culminated in a course of painkillers and a physio referral. I could drive, but it wasn’t very comfortable, and I wasn’t exactly overwhelmed by the prospect of 194 miles of my arm held upright to alleviate the pain, plus, let’s be honest, fellow road users looking at me and thinking I’m some sort of dick!

The decision was made, I wasn’t going to Cleator Moor, and to be fair by 10am on Saturday morning it wasn’t an option anyway as the game ended up being inevitably postponed due to a waterlogged pitch.

I’d got three choices. I had the plastic option at Eastwood Hanley but I only wanted to play that card when I had no other alternatives. I then had either Newport Town Reserves, which was my first choice, and a second choice of Burton Town Reserves. I took the view that if Newport got back to me with a positive, then it was all systems go, and a significantly reduced journey time with my arm held up in the air.

Responses came via both text and Twitter, the game against Audley Reserves was on, and, it was being played at the Tibberton School, just West of the Shropshire town of Newport.

So how did the reserves of Newport Town come onto the radar then?

When it comes to my completist tendencies, the Staffordshire County Senior League is one of the ‘must do’ competitions, albeit it has a caveat whereby as it stands, I’ll never be able to complete it. That’s because Featherstone Prison play in it, although spectators are not allowed admission to games, and I know that because I know people who’ve tried various methods to gain entry which have proved unsuccessful. At one point you could get the visiting club to add you to the list of designated club representatives, but nowadays even that’s been clamped down upon.

So, the nick aside, the league gave me four newbies this season. The aforementioned Eastwood Hanley, Ball Haye Green who got a visit back in August, Coven Athletic who I visited last week, and of course Newport Town Reserves.

I didn’t initially think when I saw them in the constitution that it would be a new ground. I knew the first team were moving to play at Eccleshall, but I assumed the reserves would pick up where the first team used to play at Shuker Field in the town, but not so it appears, a school field in a nearby village was to be the base, but even then after making enquiries and pencilling them in for a visit much earlier in the season, I subsequently found out that they weren’t actually moving into Tibberton School until the end of September.

With rain still in the air I was taken on a magical mystery tour by my sat nav as fellow road users waved back to me at regular intervals, no doubt thinking I was a touch eccentric with the constant raising of the arm at random moments of my journey. I ended up going via Uttoxeter to Stafford, before being taken around the top of the town and under the M6 on the road to Newport itself.

Once in Newport it was past the Harper Adams University (Tractor Studies), which is another former home of Newport Town, before turning off the main road and into the lovely little village that is Tibberton.

The school playing field is located at the rear of a housing area, and once parked up and checked in with a club official who was trying in vain to get the respect barrier to stand up in the high winds (unsuccessfully), I made my way to a pub that I’d spotted less than a couple of minutes walk away.

Lager was taken to wash down the painkillers, while a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel took a liking to me. I’m not sure if Codeine and dogs mix, I’d left before they had chance to take any effect……

So, what is the place like? Well, it’s a school field, but it doesn’t feel like that because it has two things that make it feel much more like a village football ground than a school. Firstly it has two permanent dugouts, and it has a separate changing room and tea bar facility at pitch side. The respect barrier had now gone, so no rope or rail, while the end furthest away from the school, which was a good three hundred yards away at least, was very tight to some trees, so much so the branches overhung into the goalmouth.

The pitch was in very good condition though considering lots of rain had fallen overnight, so no danger on that front, but, it was very windy, although to be fair it didn’t seem to have too adverse an impact on the game itself, which was quite entertaining.

Visiting Audley Reserves have had a tough season and sat bottom of the league, whereas the hosts were sat in a mid-table spot. The first half wasn’t blessed with lots of chances, but it was Newport that took the lead, and to be fair, deservedly so.

A further goal came during the second half, and with three points looking to be in the bag, the complexion of the game changed slightly when Audley reduced the arrears with around ten minutes remaining. They pushed on to find an equaliser but in fairness the goal sparked a bit more urgency in Newport who went on to close it out.

The journey back was done in one armed fashion, and under the circumstances, it was probably the limit of just how far I could realistically travel. This had better sort itself soon, otherwise it won’t just be a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel that feels the wrath. I’ve got three games in three Countries in three days coming in up just over a week, if anyone mentions Brexit (the choice of the stupid and the geriatric - look what mess we are now in?), I might have to raise my arm…….