Red Dogs

Nottingham  0  Crowle Colts  3

Central Midlands League – Division One North

It was always destined to end in failure, a Nottingham Sunday League game in January where the hosts Red Dogs were playing someone I’d never heard of, I can’t remember the name of, nor do I have any inclination to go back and find out the origins of.

Anyway, quite how I got cajoled into going to pub football is purely down to my mate Steve, who has made a bit of an alarming habit of it this season, but it was probably alcohol related and given it wasn’t too far away, I thought I’d try it.

Bad move, nothing doing, not a corner flag, not a match official, not a car in the car park, it was simply not taking place. On further inspection of Full Time a bit later on, yes, it was off, and as far as Sunday League football watching goes hereon in, you can insert it firmly up your jacksie!

Ok, it needs further clarification. I found out at the beginning of Winter that Nottingham FC, who were new to the Central Midlands League (and remain something of a mystery due to no social media), had moved from Lenton Lane to Melbourne Park on the Western outskirts of the City. Steve, who sees spending a Saturday at such a venue as something of a waste when it could be done at another time, spotted that the Red Dogs used it as a home venue on a Sunday, hence the idea of ticking it off for some good old pub football.

It failed, clearly, but I mean, Red Dogs, it didn’t sit well anyway with me. Watching the real Red Dogs on TV is painful enough, but watching what is clearly a team of supporters was pushing the boundaries too far, no, it was probably for the best.

Anyway, it had to be done one way or another, and with league leaders Crowle Colts in town, it was the perfect opportunity, notwithstanding the fact I had to be at a Hotel not far from blighty at 5.30 for the Wedding Anniversary celebrations, meant that it ticked so many boxes. It also ticked another box, my old mucker Derek lives a couple of minutes from the ground and with some horse trading to be done on the paper front, I was now into three birds – one stone territory. Boom, as the kids say these days!

It's changed since I last went, for no game, they’ve railed the pitch off nearest to the entrance. That came as a surprise, I was expecting rope, but I got metal, that opens the door now for my mate Dave who only does railed pitches. Not being funny, rope / metal, anyone would think he had a fetish?

Right, location wise Melbourne Park is just off the A610 which runs from the M1 to the City Centre. You get to the junction that was the old Commodore International, turn right and then a few hundred yards later you turn left into the ground. It’s an expanse of pitches with a centrally located changing block, that’s kind of it, apart from the railed pitch, which is a mighty fine railed pitch I have to say.

In the distance I spotted some familiarity, in the shape of four well known members of the travelling fraternity. You see, another foible here, some hoppers don’t like to go to games where a reserve team is involved, so on the basis that three quarters of this league is reserve teams, is does limit the choice somewhat. So, when a first team is visiting, it is an attractive proposition to the great unwashed of this World.

This lot were not the great unwashed though, Messrs Berezai, Hardy, Groves and Berry were convivial company throughout the afternoon’s proceedings, although stood a short distance from us was another well known face, nicknamed after a form of public transport popular in Blackpool, he was praying for a goal, you see, if a game ends 0-0 he has to go back and watch another game until a goal is scored. I didn’t laugh about the two consecutive goalless draws at Shelbourne in Dublin, not one bit…….

Stood on the grass bank that runs down the side of the pitch, we witnessed the league leading visitors ease to a 3-0 victory. Nottingham gave it a good go, but Crowle had that bit more quality and were deserved victors in the end.

You know what though, it felt somewhat strange to be at a game so close to home after the recent jaunts down to Essex and suchlike, I could get used to it, if there was anywhere new to go!

So, that polished off all the local leagues for another season, and unlike Steve, I did it without seeing a single second of pub football, just………

155 But Still Fighting

Clifton All Whites  2  Belper United  1

East Midlands Counties League Cup – Semi Final

BBC Radio Derby – Sports Scene Final, I think I’ve been down this route before in the blog, but not to worry, I’m going to do it again just one more time!

It was the journey home from my Grandma’s in Mickleover on a Saturday night, we would normally be on the final straight back to Fritchley when the non-league reports came on, and always featured were Borrowash Victoria, with Ian ‘Chunky’ Collins providing the report from firstly Deans Drive, and then the Asterdale Bowl.

The Vics are one of the stalwarts of non-league football in Derby, joining the First Division of the old Midland League in 1979, before becoming founder members of the Northern Counties East League in 1982. They defected to the Central Midlands League along with many other local sides in 1986, but within ten years they were back in the NCEL.

They had a four season spell in the Premier Division, but were relegated and then moved sideways to the East Midlands Counties League where they remain.

The Asterdale Bowl was the chosen venue for tonight’s League Cup semi-final between Clifton All Whites and Belper United, with United of course being former ground sharers at Borrowash a couple of seasons ago when Belper Town decided they didn't want them for a spell!

I’ve not been for a few years to the Bowl, and to be fair to the Vics, the last couple of seasons have been something of a struggle. This season in particular they sit second bottom of the table having conceded 155 goals, indeed on five occasions they’ve conceded double figures in a game, but to be fair, over recent weeks they do look to have steadied the ship a little.

But, with some new blood behind the scenes, and no lack of effort or enthusiasm, the future does look significantly more rosy. The word on the street is that no one will be relegated, which would be a real boost for the Vics because with their infrastructure, they should be a Step 6 club.

The ground is vast in terms of size. The Asterdale complex itself is a huge site, with the home of Graham Street Prims on the left as you drive in, and the now derelict Asterdale Club standing out like a monolith from days gone by as many ponder what the future holds for it.

Once beyond the car park is the slope that takes you down to the turnstiles at the back of the goal, with the old golf driving range stand immediately to the right. Yes, the ground was once a driving range, and that largely explains the vastness of it. A seated stand has been put on the halfway line while opposite are the dressing rooms. A bar sits to the far end of the driving range stand, from which food can now be purchased to accompany your drinkies, following the closure of the wonderful old tea bar that used to be at the opposite end of the stand.

The pitch is large, and considering the recent wet weather it looked in good shape, while the only criticism would have to be the floodlights, they are not especially powerful, but I’m sure that’s something that the club have on the radar when funds allow.

My first visit came in 1994 when I saw them play Nuthall in an FA Vase Replay (it went to three replays if I recall), since then visits have tended to be midweek games, or on the odd occasion when Belper United were indeed sharing with them.

I quite fancied Belper to win the game, especially given they’ve had some good results against Clifton already this season, but to be fair they never got out of the blocks in the first half and found themselves 2-0 down at the break against an All Whites side that were confident and sharp in all areas of the pitch.

The second half was a totally different story as United got a goal back from the penalty spot, and went on to throw the kitchen sink at Clifton, very much in the same way the Nottingham based side did in the first period. With a bit more composure they may well have got an equaliser and even gone on to win the game, but in all honesty, it was the first half that did for them.

Clifton go on to play Newark Flowserve in the Final, it should be an interesting encounter. On paper you would fancy the big spenders from Newark, but.....

As for Borrowash, I do hope that they stay up and I do hope that those behind the scenes see the efforts they are putting in bear fruit. A competitive Vics side is good for local football, they’ve been a top team in the past and they could be again.

I recall back in 1991 they went to Conference side Macclesfield Town in the FA Cup and won 2-1, that was one hell of a result. The two clubs nowadays couldn’t be further apart in reality, but just getting back into the FA Cup with a decent league position would be an achievement for the Vics.

I don’t think anyone who appreciates what it takes to run a non-league football club would begrudge them that.

Grand Slam

Penybont  2  Cwmamman United  0

Welsh Football League – Division One

It’s slightly ironic on the day that Storm Gareth swept the nation, my plan was to head for Wales.

But, on the day when heavy rains and high winds swept across the province, something big was happening in the sporting arena, and that arena was the Millennium Stadium.

Wales v Ireland in the Six Nations, with the hosts a victory away from a Grand Slam. All eyes were on Cardiff, and with that huge distraction combined with the weather, football was without doubt going to be playing second fiddle, and even that with Manchester United playing just up the road at Swansea City.

I’ve had Penybont on the radar for a few reasons recently. Firstly because they’ve applied to join the Welsh Premier League, secondly because they are currently top of the league and unbeaten, but also thirdly because they have a 4G pitch, which is ideal for days when Gareth is at his worst!

There was also another reason to be fair, I’d made an arrangement with a programme dealer from Merthyr Tydfil, and rather than pay postage for my purchases, I’d agreed to meet him on my way down to Penybont as it’s on the route assuming you take the Heads of the Valleys Road.

So unless we had a pile of snow, or the Welsh Football League decided to call all games off due to no one being arsed because of the rugby, it was something of a cert that the game would be on and I could kill two birds with one shotgun.

To be fair to Gareth, I didn’t see any sign of him until virtually crossing the Welsh border just before Monmouth. Ok, the fields around Ross-on-Wye and beyond were completely flooded thanks to rain earlier in the week, but the first specs of water were some time coming.

That said, once on the HOTVR, the winds picked up and the ran got heavier, so by the time I was driving into Merthyr, I would suspect most grass pitches were now pretty well shafted! With the deal done, it was another forty five minutes down through the Valleys before hitting the M4 at Cardiff West and driving Westbound towards Bridgend – or Pen Y Bont as it’s known in Welsh.

I’ve only ever been to Bridgend once before, for a Wedding, a Roman Catholic Wedding to be precise. It went on for ages, and I mean ages, I vowed never to attend such a ceremony again, and I haven’t.

Memories are a bit sketchy, I stayed at my mates place in Brackla, and we did have a drive in to town, taking a look at the Rugby Ground, but that’s about it. What I hadn’t realised though is just how big a place it actually is. It took an age to get from the M4 to the home of Penybont, as I was directed around the edges of the town to the West side, and the suburb of Bryntirion.

Football in Bridgend is quite an interesting story. Bridgend Town were the big name, and were a Welsh Football League side from the late Fifties through to 1973 when they changed their name to Everwarm! The idea of being named after a sponsor didn’t last and then in 1977 they took the decisions to leave Wales and join the Southern Football League. Promotion was won to the Premier Division but they eventually settled in the Midland Division until 1983.

Welsh football again beckoned, and from the point of leaving the English system they remained in the WFL, moving up and down the divisions, until 2013.

Up until 2006 the club played at Coychurch Road, but then having sold the site to a supermarket chain, they shared at Porthcawl before setting up a temporary base at the University of Glamorgan grounds in Treforest. Ambitiously, they moved in with Bridgend RFC at the Brewery Field in 2009 and applied for the Welsh Premier League, but this was not to be and they were forced to vacate.

The solution was in the suburbs, Bryntirion Athletic were a successful club plying their trade in the WFL, so to secure funding, a merger took place with the newly named club formed, called Penybont, and their home would be the well appointed Bryntirion Park.

This season, subject to licencing, they are odds on to win the league and all being well, should secure promotion to the WPL. South Wales has not had it easy over the years in WPL circles, Llanelli were a success but then went belly up, only for the newly formed Llanelli Town to gain promotion at the end of last season, but relegation looms large one year later.

Port Talbot is in the doldrums as both Town and Afan Lido have suffered the drop, while the Neath project disappeared no sooner than it arrived.

Cwmbran fell off the radar, while Haverfordwest have yo-yo’d. Carmarthen on the other hand have managed to hang on in there, but Barry Town United, rising from the ashes of Barry Town, look to be the current success story along with student team Cardiff Met University.

So, a team from Bridgend, one of the largest, albeit rugby mad towns, is long overdue in the WPL.

The ground at Bryntirion Park is tidy, but quite basic. The car park is large, and the clubhouse equally so, while today it was rammed with locals getting set for the rugby. No turnstiles have yet been installed and the only covered accommodation is an Atcost Stand on a bank straddling the half way line. Hard standing surrounds the fully enclosed ground, while it does of course have floodlights and a TV gantry!

Plans are afoot for turnstiles, another stand and some offices, and the club did sound confident that they will get the work done in time.

So, in front of an understandably sparse crowd, albeit a good number from Cwmam….the Anmmanford area, it was a relatively routine victory for the homesters against, to be fair, one of the form sides in the league.

Penybont haven’t lost a game in the league all season, and on their home pitch, it’s easy to see why, they play with a confidence and a purpose, and even with a missed penalty, a goal in each half was enough to seal the three points.

By the time the final whistle blew, the rain was at it’s worst, and just as I was about to get on the M4, the final whistle blew in Cardiff and a nation began to celebrate, Wales are officially the best rugby team in the Northern Hemisphere, and in a World Cup year, that’s not a bad place to be.

It was so empty on the M4, all the way down to Newport, clearly the nation were right behind the lads in Cardiff, and tucked away in front rooms, clubs and pubs to celebrate.

It won’t be too long before they are celebrating in the round ball format over in Bridgend, as finally the town gets what it deserves, a top tier football team in the national league.

Europe Next?

The Biggest Club You Never Saw

Newark Flowserve  3  Radford  1

East Midlands Counties League Cup – Semi Final

Rainworth Miners Welfare are arguably one of the biggest non-league clubs that the East Midlands never saw!

As a wholly amateur club, playing in the Nottinghamshire Alliance League, they made history in 1982 by reaching the FA Vase Final at Wembley, only to lose to Forest Green Rovers.

The Wrens were the first and only Miners Welfare club to reach a national final at Wembley, but the 3-0 defeat, this after beating Barton Rovers in the semi-final, the home leg attracting over 5,000 spectators to Kirklington Road, didn’t take the shine off what was the crowning moment for a football club that were dominating local football.

Between 1977 and 1983 the club won the league championship six successive times, but not only that, they achieved both League Cup and County Cup success. In terms of status, they sat way below the Northern Premier League, which at the time was the second tier non-league competition, while the Midland Counties League and then the Northern Counties East League were also a step above them.

I remember not too long ago talking to a Rainworth stalwart, a man who certainly knows his football, and he told me that the side that he saw reach Wembley and win titles, would have been top four in the Midland League, and in all fairness, were good enough to hold their own in the Northern Premier League, they were that good!

It’s all hypothetical of course, but if like me, you keep old programmes, it’s interesting to scan through and look at some of the players, many of whom had not been long out of the professional game, like Paul Comerford and Clint Guy, who were paying ‘subs’ by all accounts!

On top of that, the crowds were flocking to Kirklington Road, I went once in the early years and that was in 1984 to see an FA Vase victory over Lincoln United, and it was packed, several hundred lined the pitch side and up the grass bank. But therein lay the problem, Kirkilington Road was a pitch with a rope around it, while the dressing rooms were the pavilion that was a fair old walk to the pitch.

Facilities wise it was as basic as they came, but, given the success and the support, why did they not develop and rise? Well, I get the feeling it all came down to politics. The Secretary of the club was Alan Wright, who himself was also the Chairman of the Notts Alliance, and the view was that while he pulled the strings, the league and the club would never part. Alan Wright did so much for the club, and indeed for the league, but……

Ultimately a decision had to be made, as more and more clubs left to join the Central Midlands League and the ultimately move into the Northern Counties East League, Rainworth were getting left further behind, so a decision was made to make the switch to the CMFL and with it embark on a programme of ground improvements.

They moved to pastures new in 2003, and by 2007 they’d risen through the leagues and were sat in the bottom tier of the NCEL (Step 6).  By 2009 they were in the top flight of the NCEL, and despite finishing runners up to Bridlington Town a year later, they won promotion to the Northern Premier League following the East coast clubs decision to decline promotion.

So, after so many seasons as a massive fish in a relatively small pond, they took a leap of faith and within seven years had reached a level which was perhaps unimaginable at the time the decision was taken.

The dream continued until 2015 when the club resigned from the league for financial reasons, and then at the end of the 2017-18 season they took the decision to drop from the Premier Division of the NCEL into the East Midlands Counties League for similar reasons.

I’m no expert, but the club survives, on a tight budget, with excellent facilities and a decent level of support. The NPL was a step too far, maybe twenty years too late in fact, but all the same, the club survives, when many clubs in the County have had histories that would all make decent soap operas! No names of course…….

So, why bang on about Rainworth Miners Welfare when I’ve been to match a game between Newark Flowserve and Radford? Simple, it was the chosen venue of the East Midlands Counties League Cup semi-final, so because it was such a well known venue locally, it is worth telling the story of the club.

But, we had a game, featuring a street wise and very hard to beat Radford side, playing the team that everyone seems to want to beat at the moment from Newark, and the reason everyone seems to want to beat them is the rumours that abound about the kind of money they are paying to players.

I won’t comment on how big the wage bill is, or comment on whether it’s a good or bad thing, suffice to say, it’s entirely up to the club and its custodians what they do, and is no business of anyone else. 

Furthermore, the team currently sitting above them in the league is alleged to pay out no money at all, so from the point of view of an advantage, just how big is it? I’ll let those more qualified decide that, but from my own point of view, they’ve developed the ground, built a great team, engaged with the town and got the locals behind them, so money is a good thing, as long as it’s sustainable?

A decent crowd had pitched up, 140 it appears but it looked a lot more, maybe some passes flying around? Anyway, a large proportion had come from Newark and they were certainly enjoying themselves and the refreshments on offer.

They got a shock though as Radford took the lead in the first half through Ryan Smith who netted on the half hour mark. It was a deserved goal and by the half time interval Radford were in my opinion the better side.

It all changed in the second period as Flowserve came out with a real intent, and it came as no surprise when Jamie Lloyd netted the equaliser in the 52^nd minute.

The traffic was now pretty much one way and it was the experienced Bradley Wells who gave the side from Newark the lead three minutes later, only for another experienced campaigner in the shape of Blair Anderson to net a cracking third goal to make the game safe and earn Flowserve a passage to the final.

Rainworth, as hosts, perhaps looked on somewhat enviously at Flowserve, a side who plied their trade in the Notts Senior League only last season, and wondered what they have to do to simply compete with them?

But in reality, they can’t, but what they have got is a history that trumps the vast majority of clubs in the East Midlands hands down, and no one can take that away from them.

 

The Great Old

Royal Antwerp  1  Charleroi  2

Belgian First Division A

Debris was strewn everywhere as we left the apartment just around lunchtime on the Sunday.

The overnight storm had caused a fair bit of damage, so it was more in hope than expectation that we headed the short three kilometres South to the home of KSC Maccabi for what was supposedly an Antwerp Regional League Division Four (I think) game.

After a minor incident involving a cycle lane, some traffic lights and an articulated lorry, we soon arrived having swerved between fallen branches, and parked up at the large Maccabi sports complex. 

We were directed round to the back to the football ground, and were soon informed that the referee had postponed the game on safety grounds. A large tree had fallen in one corner of the ground and taken out a concrete fence and a car!

Despite that, we stayed for a while and were made very welcome, indeed so much so we were shown round the clubs boardroom and given a history lesson alongside it, of a club that serves the Antwerp Jewish community.

This minor blip meant we were not rushing to the main event of the tour, the big game at Royal Antwerp, where our contact Tom Simons had arranged a meet and some match tickets.

Parking was not that straightforward around the Bosuilstadion, the space we originally grabbed turned out to be a restricted zone, so we had to make a move to a car park that served a residential complex. After a very windy walk down past the club lake (yep, it’s true), it was time for a quick shufty around the club shop before heading to the Royal pub, one of the official homes of the Royal Antwerp support.

Jupiler was in plentiful supply, as was some brown coloured stuff for the other lads. Soon the DJ arrived, who was an absolute spit of Les from Vic Reeves Big Night Out. No chives or spirit levels were available to test out whether he was the real deal or not, but crikey, it provided a good ten minutes of amusement for us all.

With hard house banging out and some of the local Ultras in place, it was time to go to the stadium and meet Tom.

The rendezvous point had been agreed with Tom, who was an overseas ambassador for Sheffield FC, and soon, upon meeting him and his Father, we made our way to the seats in the iconic old stand.

The Great Old (as they are known) were formed in 1880, and recorded as the oldest club in Belgium, hence the links with Sheffield FC. The club have been something of underachievers though, despite being one of the best supported clubs in the Country.

They’ve won the League Championship just four times (the last in 1954), and the Belgian Cup twice, although they are famed for being the last Belgian club to reach a European Final when they lost to Parma in the Cup Winners Cup at Wembley in 1993.

They were once known for being a partner / feeder club to Manchester United, with Danny Higginbotham playing 29 games for the club on loan before his huge move to the English giants, Derby County.

The Bosuilstadion is an impressive but changing arena. The old stand is a hugely impressive structure, containing unreserved bench seating, it curves slightly, and has a tall yet deep roof which helps create a fantastic atmosphere. Opposite is the smart and very modern main stand with it’s corporate facilities, while to the right is a more modern seated stand which has a section for visiting supporters.

The end to the left is currently being demolished, once a two tier corporate stand, the seats have been removed leaving just a shell, and that is scheduled to be demolished and replaced some time soon.

In front of a near full house of just over 11,000, fourth placed Antwerp were playing  mid-table Charleroi. Stu did try to explain to me the impact of the result of the game, but it was of course complicated. Antwerp had already made the play offs (the top end) and Charleroi were already in the bottom end play offs. The result couldn’t change that, but apparently any points now gained end up getting halved when it comes to sorting out who plays who and where going forward. I know, I haven’t got a clue either!

Anyway, it was a great atmosphere, helped no end when Amara Baby gave the hosts the lead in the 24^th minute, but within five minutes the visitors had equalised when Victor Osimehen scored from the penalty spot.

Just after half time, Antwerp missed a great chance to re-take the lead when Lior Refaelov missed from the penalty spot, and that proved to be costly as Massimo Bruno got the winner for Charleroi in the 77^th minute.

Two yellow cards in minutes saw Charleroi’s Gaetan Hendrickx sent off, but it proved to be no consolation as the visitors hung on for a victory and subsequent pyrotechnic display!

A disappointed Tom was kind enough to take us round to the corporate section on the opposite side of the ground for a couple of beers and a rave at the techno disco before we bade our farewells and made the short journey back to our base.

It was a time for reflection over a kapsalon and more beer at the Korsakov, about a fantastic weekend in the Low Countries. Massive thanks to Stu for organising and driving, and to Ben also for his organising and research of all things local football. From my own point of view, all I contributed was banter and booze, so no credit coming my way whatsoever!

It was a long day on the Monday, we left Antwerp at 10.30am and arrived back at base just after 7pm, and that with an earlier tunnel. A closed M1 around Luton did us no favours at all.

It didn’t matter though, until next year, Brugge it appears is the provisional location, that should end well shouldn’t it?

Heist & The Kulminator

KSK Heist  1  RFC Seraing  1

Belgium First Class Amateurs

The journey to Heist gave myself and Ben the opportunity for a light snooze, in between cans of Jupiler. Stu managed a brief snooze but being the driver we suggested he did it with one eye open…

Darkness had descended by the time we reached the small town of Heist-op-den-Berg, located around fifty kilometres South East of Antwerp. The ground sat behind the town hall, and with a good sized car park available, we were soon at the ticket office getting sorted for the evening.

Another meeting had been arranged, this time with Roel Grant, a former player of the club who had moved ‘upstairs’ into an official capacity. Shirts and scarves were once again exchanged and photographs taken with the Sheffield FC flag. Some of the local youth took an interest in us and requested a photo with our flag and there’s side by side, suddenly we had been inducted into the Heist Ultras!

Belgian football grounds are a complete contrast to the efforts in Holland. Sadly, the Dutch win no prizes for originality or character, whereas the Belgians specialise in individualism and quirkiness. From a ground porn perspective, they are the Hugh Hefner’s of Western European football!

The ground at Heist is a mixture of structures that in many ways reflect the varying historical fortunes of the club. A large stand with dressing rooms beneath sit on one side of the ground, while to one side of the stand is a small area of covered terracing, with the clubhouse sat behind.

On the other side of the stand is a more modern stand with corporate facilities contained to the rear. This stand was built when the club were in the professional ranks, and to be fair, when Raol took us on a tour, what was surprising was the fact that over eighty people were sat having meals in the restaurant. It appears this facility is a sell out at all games, and while the club may be playing in the amateur ranks now, this is an example of them maintaining a very professional approach to things.

On the opposite side of the ground are two further stands, much smaller, with one seated and one terraced. This is the away section of the ground, and with a decent sized following having come from Seraing, it was in use. Behind both goals is open terracing, but in Heist, they tend to gather on the terraces on the side.

Of course, a couple of snifters were had in the clubhouse, while bratwurst was procured from a conveniently located van at the back of the stand.

Belgian football is more complicated than it needs to be. They have a First Division A, which splits around now and two conferences are formed, titled the play-offs, it has a significant bearing on European places and relegation. Below this tier is First Division B, which consists of just eight teams, and is as confusing as a confused thing. You play each other countless times, it splits, it has play-offs  and you can also get into Europe from it. You can be relegated to the First Amateur Division, of which Heist are a part, but only if the top club can obtain a licence. So, you almost know before the pay-offs start whether you will go down or not.   

Chuck in a bit of Belgian match fixing and you’ve got a right old mess, quite what was wrong with the old method is beyond me, but clearly a few too many Tripels had been consumed when that decision was made.

Currently top of the league are Thes Sport, while visitors RFC Seraing were sat in mid-table. Heist on the other hand were in the relegation zone, but it’s very tight at the bottom.

It turned out to be a tight game watched by a crowd I would estimate at around 400 (including those in the restaurant). Heist took a first half lead but the ‘professionals’ from Seraing fought back and grabbed an equaliser in the second period.

The 1-1 draw didn’t really help either side, and Heist now have an anxious run in to see if they can avoid relegation to the Second Amateur Division.

Afterwards it was back to Antwerp and an interesting experience at the acclaimed Kulminator bar. First of all, you had to ring a bell to be let in, and secondly I learned the hard way not to ask for any lager, they don’t do it! No idea what it was I drank, but I found something to suit my tastes, whereas the other two lads at one point were drinking a 40% proof beer served in a wine glass! I declined any invitations for a taste, politely suggesting that pain stripper had more of an appeal!

We got chatting to some folks, and as last orders were called, we all made our way down to Billie’s Bar, which indeed did serve a rather nice pint of Pilsner. It was while in here that food arrived from the local takeaway, which was a great end to a fantastic day.

It was after 2am when we finally found our way back to the apartment, but we did manage one more drink before bed. A storm was whipping up outside and rain was crashing against the windows, Sunday was going to be a very interesting day indeed!

Bridge Over Troubled Water

HSV Hoek  1  DVS’33 Ermelo  2

Derde Divisie (Zaterdag)

Right, three blokes, a pack of bacon and a grill without an instruction manual, guess what happened next?

Yes, that’s right, try as we might we simply couldn’t fathom out how to turn the grill on, but we did work out how to light the hob rings, so fried swine it was, and very welcome too.

After a decent lie in, it was a lunchtime departure in the trusty Yaris back across the border to the small village of Hoek which sits just before the mightily impressive eight kilometre long Westerscheidetunnelweg (big tunnel), which is toll free at weekends if anyone is interested in such detail?

Hoek is a small place, but as our arrival was quite early, we managed to grab one of the last spaces in the small car park. Once in the ground we had a mission to find a chap called Art who was the Chairman of HSV. One thing Stu is very good at is building cross channel relations with football clubs, all in the name of promoting Sheffield FC, who are of course one of the oldest football clubs in the entire interplanetary system.

All jokes aside about Bridges Over Troubled Water, Art van der Staal was a super chap who wore marvelous shoes with picture of flowers on them, and after the obligatory exchanges of shirts and photographs, and a meeting with a Dutch Groundhopper from Rotterdam, it was a chance to sample some of the local lager.

The ground at HSV was not untypical of many of the larger amateur set ups in Holland. The clubhouse behind the goal had an overhang in front of it where al-fresco boozing is not just allowed, but encouraged. Moving round the ground, one side is open, as is the area behind the opposite goal, but the main stand sits on the left hand side to the clubhouse end. The pitch is artificial and it is floodlit of course.

Hoek play in the Derde Divisie, which is the fourth tier of football in Holland. Dutch football has gone through a series of changes over recent seasons, because previously you had the two professional divisions, and then sat below that was the Hoofdklasse, which in turn was split into Saturday’s and Sunday’s.

It then changed, whereby the two Hoofdklasse became known as the Topklasse, from which promotion to the professional ranks could be gained. This was short lived as the best clubs formed a single division known as the Tweede Divisie, which combined both Saturday and Sunday sides. This new division obtained its own TV deal, and was a step on the way to create a pyramid structure, but, with promotion to the second tier not obligatory, many wondered what the wisdom was behind it?

The Derde Divisie fed into the Tweede Divisie, but remained split across the weekend. Interestingly, when the changes first came about, Groesbeek based Achilles 29 took the plunge and moved into the second tier (professional ranks). They now sit bottom of the Derde Divisie, it went spectacularly wrong from a financial perspective. The appetite for professional football is not huge in Holland, with only a handful of sides considering taking the plunge.

This was a big game, Hoek sat third in the table with the visitors from Gelderland just one place below them. A crowd of around a thousand turned up to watch the game, with around 150 of them having made the journey West.

In all honesty, DVS won the game 2-1, having been 2-0 up at one point, and it was difficult to argue with the outcome as the team in yellow and black were much more effective with the ball than the hosts. The victory moved them to second in the table over both Hoek and Quick Boys, but with a six point gap to leaders Noordwijk, it’s a tough ask for them to win the league and with it promotion to the Tweede Divisie.

Farewells were bade, and departures made, but not before a random photo opportunity at the end of the road next to the sign for the football club. We only held the traffic up a little bit!

The next game was a good hour and a half away, the other side of Antwerp, but with loads of time on our side we decided to head to the town of Terneuzen where a bar called the Café De Vriendschap was located. Despite a few issues with some ships and a bridge (over troubled water) that took an age to close, we were soon parked up with menu in hand.

It was time for a Pilsner..

Meaty

FC Eindhoven  0  Sparta Rotterdam  0

Eerste Divisie

The time had indeed come for the second 'Jolly Boys Outing' to the Low Countries, after a spiffing debut last time out in Gent, this time, we were heading for a base in Antwerp, the possibilities were endless!

That’s a lie to be honest, the possibilities on the Friday were far from endless, in fact, it was either find a game somewhere close to the Dutch border, or a women’s game. We went Dutch…..

So, with Mr H Senior depositing me at the rendezvous point at Junction 28 of the M1, the journey in the trusty Toyota Yaris was trouble free with Stu at the wheel and Ben sleeping in the back. 

Sainsbury’s in Ashford did the job in terms of provisions and before you knew it we were checked in, sat back and waiting for a delayed tunnel departure to Coquelles.

Between snoozes and Mrs H’s lovingly prepared breakfast, banter was regular and acerbic, with myself being introduced to the delights of the podcast that is Athletico Mince. It appears, I am indeed a ‘Meaty Bastard!’

Coquelles was a breeze and before long the hike to Antwerp was underway, but not before a stop in Lokeren to collect alcoholic supplies from the trusty Carrefour. I bought Jupiler, the other two bought all kinds of semi-illegal substances that could tranquilize a large brown bear with less than a mouthful!

Our apartment was in the centre of Antwerp, betwixt two fine establishments known as Korsakov and Kulminator. More on Kulminator in a later blog, but suffice to say both venues served the finest monk brewed sludge.

So, games wise it was a bit thin, and the nearest venue that none of us had been to was FC Eindhoven, off of Eindhoven where the big club PSV come from. The journey took just less than an hour and before long we were parked up and chatting to a very helpful man called Wim (I made that up) in the ticket office.

He pointed us towards two bars. On outside the ground that he claimed was more family orientated, and a further inside the ground which was a bit more rowdy. It was a tough call, we decided to try both. Both were very good, they served Jupiler, I was happy, they didn’t serve much else, Ben and Stu were not 'reyt' happy as a consequence, they went in search of photographs and a club metal badge.

Typically Dutch is how I would describe the ground. Three box sized stands, very similar in design, with one end open albeit for a clubhouse and a snack bar. It reminded me a bit of TOP Oss, but in blue.

Sparta Rotterdam were the visitors and they sat second in the table, blessed with a decent sprinkling of fans penned into something akin to a compound at Guantanamo Bay, the early exchanges suggested that they might be in for a happy night.

No one was in for a happy night, unless you’d got a propensity to drink Jupiler, a lot, the football was typically ‘nice’, with lots of pretty triangles and one touch passes, but in terms of action, efforts on goals, scything tackles and scraps, it had bugger all to offer.

The 0-0 scoreline was as inevitable as Ben spilling a cup of coffee over the back seat of the car, but, with a quick getaway had, we were soon parked up in Antwerp and inside Korsakov for the first time. 

They didn’t sell Jupiler, they sold something else, it was more potent, as was what the other pair were necking. But, in fairness it had been a long day, so we didn’t stop for too many before heading back to the apartment for a little night cap and a lie down.

But, despite the football, a great start to the weekend, the adventure had only just begun, and we had bacon to cook the following morning, so we thought…….

Fight Club

Brackley Town Saints  2  Abingdon United  0

Hellenic League Premier Division

It was a quite splendid moment in my football viewing history.

On a baking sunny day I was stood on the terraces at Brackley Town watching them play Bedford Town in a pre-season friendly. The year would have been 2004, and the hosts were on their way to a relatively comfortable 4-0 victory.

I can’t recall the exact moment in the game but I do remember it was during the first half. Anyway, a gaggle of kids were playing football behind the goal, a good old jumpers for goalposts game, I would say about fifteen of them were taking part. Suddenly, without warning, a fight between two of the kids broke out, and we are talking young kids here. Within seconds we had a full scale brawl, every kid in the vicinity was in on the act, it spilled down the grass bank and onto the hard standing at pitch side.

By now, one or two parents had noticed that something wasn’t right, and having deposited their wine / beer glasses, they came bolting round the ground to stop the mayhem!

It was brilliant, hilarious in fact, and no more so than when one of kids produced a mightily impressive drop kid that left his pal flat out on the floor.  The parents were horrified, kids got dragged away by their collars and their earlobes, clearly with stern words ringing in their tabs. For those of us not involved in it, the season had been made already, nothing could top it!

I’ve never been back to Brackley since, partly because the opportunity has never really presented itself, but also because part of me felt that it would be impossible to live up to that marvellous day.

However, with not much on offer for a trip back from a work jaunt to Milton Keynes, it seemed an obvious choice, principally from the perspective of geography.

The story of Brackley Town is an impressive one. They joined the Hellenic League in 1977 and then found themselves shunted sideways to the United Counties League in 1983, from where they were promoted to the Premier Division after just one season.  They moved back to the Hellenic in 1994, and after three seasons they were promoted to the Southern League.

This upwardly mobile venture only lasted a couple of seasons before they were relegated again, however, by 2004-05 they were back in the Southern League.

They won the Midland Division in 2006-07 and with it came promotion to the Premier Division, which they went on to win in 2011-12 to gain promotion to the Conference North.

Since being in the Conference, and more recently National North they’ve finished third twice. Losing in the play-offs both times, once to FC Halifax Town in the final, and then last season when they were defeated by Harrogate Town at the semi-final stage.

But, despite the disappointment last season, they achieved something quite brilliant by winning the FA Trophy at Wembley, defeating Bromley in the Final on penalties. They’ve also had some decent FA Cup runs over recent seasons, twice beating Gillingham in replays after drawing games at Priestfield Stadium. 

Not a huge club by any means, they aren’t the best supported club in the division despite the successes, but Brackley itself is a wealthy town, being the home of various F1 motor racing teams over the years, largely because of the proximity of Silverstone. I’m not sure of quite how it works or who funds the club, but I suspect someone, somewhere is backing them.

So that’s Brackley Town, but who are Brackley Town Saints?

The reserves, with no hidden agenda or any attempt to pretend they are something they aren’t. Unlike other clubs who try and claim the reserves are a separate club, Brackley are very open, it’s the same club, same ground, same everything but a slight change to the name.

They started life in 2014 as Brackley Town Development, joining the Hellenic League, but now find themselves in the top flight, the same level the first team were at not so many years ago.

What is St James Park like then? Well it’s changed a bit since I last went. The clubhouse and the stand remains in place on the North side of the ground, but now they've built some small cover behind the East goal, and behind the West goal is now a further seated stand with open terracing to either side. The South side is flat standing with a TV gantry, while it looks as though a new changing room block has been built adjacent to the clubhouse.

The game itself pitched a side inside the top three of the league, albeit it’s pretty tight at the top, against a side from Oxfordshire in the bottom three. A home win was the odds on favourite, but to be fair, Abingdon didn’t look a bad side and played some decent football on an excellent playing surface.

Ryan Knight gave the hosts the lead five minutes before the interval, but it took until the 64^th minute before George Ball got the second goal from the penalty spot. It was a deserved victory, but as I said, credit to Abingdon.

The run in will be very interesting, along with Saints the trio of Brimscombe & Thrupp, Wantage Town and Bishops Cleeve will all fancy their chances.

An attendance of 39 was recorded, and no fighting was observed anywhere in the vicinity of the stadium, but to be fair, despite my fears, it didn’t detract from the occasion!