Carry On Down The A52

Graham Street Prims  2  Holwell Sports  1

East Midlands Counties League

It has to go down as one of the most comical things I’ve ever seen.

On an evening when Steve and I had set off to watch a game on the outskirts of Hull, but actually finished up in Crawley, we were driving back down the A52 (Brian Clough Way), almost adjacent to the home of Graham Street Prims, when we saw a car wheel rolling at speed down the carriageway.

It was all a bit baffling, until we saw up ahead a car with sparks coming from underneath it. As we approached the car, being driven by an elderly lady, it became apparent that her wheel had quite literally fallen off. She was driving down a dual carriageway on three wheels, with sparks flying from the vehicle as it caught on the tarmac.

In my own slightly inebriated way I leaned out of the window to signal to the lady that she perhaps ought to pull over, or at least slow down and let her wheel catch up with her, but the response was one of disdain. Clearly I was one of those louts who took pleasure in hurling obscenities at lady drivers, but I was only trying to help.

The initial shock and bafflement turned into hilarity, and for the remains of the journey back, both of us were in stitches. To this day, it still remains possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

Other than the incident occurring close to the home of the Prims, what had it got to do with tonight’s game? Well hold that thought for a while.

Graham Street Prims are a football institution in the City of Derby. Formed in 1908 from a Primitive Methodist Church close to Graham Street (hence the name), the history of the club is one of change.

In the Seventies they were a powerful side in the local leagues, before eventually joining the old Midland League in 1981, where they remained for one season before becoming inaugural members of the Northern Counties East League. Playing behind the Bus Depot on Ascot Drive, the ground was never going to be good enough for the level they competed at, so ultimately they moved to play at the Ramarena Training Ground of Derby County on Raynesway, changing their name to Derby Prims in the process.

The club disbanded for a number of years, ground issues again being cited, but they reformed under their original name in 1995, taking up a place in the Central Midlands League, playing this time out the old Carriage & Wagon ground on Longbridge Lane.

Prims Seats

Times were good, they got promotion to the Supreme Division, gained some notable scalps in the Derbyshire Senior Cup, and despite vandalism forcing them out of Longbridge Lane, they embarked on a project to build a home of their own at the Asterdale Club on the border between Spondon and Borrowash.

The ground sat within spitting distance of the home of Borrowash Victoria on the same complex, and with the thriving social club used by both, it suited all parties. But, the Asterdale Club closed in 2008, became blighted with vandalism, and despite plans to replace it with offices, they have yet to come to fruition. Consequently, the old building is something of an eyesore on the sight, and Prims no doubt will look forward to the day when it’s renovated, with the promise of new facilities from the new owners still on the table.

The club took up a place in the newly formed East Midlands Counties League in 2008-09 season and that is where they remain today. A best finish of eighth has been countered with two next to bottom finishes. Staying where they are and surviving is clearly the clubs aim, although restructuring at the end of the season could ultimately see them moved into the Midland League which in turn would mean increased travelling.

I never saw Prims play at Ascot Drive or the Ramarena, but I did see them at Longbridge Lane and I’ve probably been to the Asterdale Club half a dozen times over the years.

I do enjoy a visit though, principally because it is one of the friendliest clubs you could ever come across. The first person you always bump into is Josie Davis who is the Treasurer, but she also works on the gate, helps in the tea bar, and probably also does numerous other jobs that go unseen. Her husband Pete is the Secretary, while also working in the tea bar is Gill Ballington. The Ballington name is synonymous with the club, her husband Jim being the Secretary for many years, and subsequently he’s a man who is hugely well respected in local football circles.

The Bus Shelter Stand

They don’t have a huge committee at Prims, and they make the most of the modest facilities they have available, so to continue to operate at the level they do is a huge testament to those involved.

Match day revenue is restricted to gate receipts, programme sales, and a tea bar. They don’t have a clubhouse so they can’t generate income that way, but balance the books they do, somehow. Gates are very modest, they average 44 through the turnstiles, which is mid-table for the league. Tonight, it was the lowest of the season with 28 paying customers.

Prims needed a win, they sat third bottom with Holwell just above them, and from the word go they were clearly up for it. Ashley Griffiths gave the hosts the lead with a well taken goal in the 32^nd minute, and then just after half time disaster struck when they went down to ten men. It didn’t stop them though because in the 67^th minute, Kevin Morrow scored a spectacular effort to make it 2-0.

Mark Cowling did pull a goal back for the visitors in the 79^th minute but the in form side who had gone three games unbeaten before tonight, couldn’t find a way to get an equaliser. It was a deserved win for Prims, all about effort, determination and attitude, and they're the kind of qualities they need to display to get out of trouble at the bottom of the table.

In The Shadow Of Brian Clough Way

On a bitterly cold evening, it was a farewell to the ladies, and then back into the car for some warmth. You are on the A52 within seconds of leaving the ground and not long after I’d got onto it I could see blue lights in my mirror. Along with other vehicles, I pulled into the left had lane to let what turned out to be an ambulance speed past.

Except, as it passed me I noticed that the back doors were swinging wide open. The driver must have also realised this around the same time because he quickly pulled into the left hand lane himself and slowed to a halt.

It was then that a thought struck me, a bit like the infamous wheel I saw a few years earlier rolling down the carriageway, was the cargo of a trolley with a patient on it currently winding its way down the road?

I had visions of a scene akin to a Carry On film, and yes, I was laughing all the way home.