Stop! Carry On......

Edgbaston Spartans  5   PS Olympic   2

West Midlands Regional League – Division Two

Without any shadow of a doubt, the greatest radio show of all time was on Radio One on weekday afternoon’s, the Mark & Lard Show.

Mark Radcliffe and Marc ‘Lard’ Riley hosted the show between 1997 and 2004, building up a huge cult following, and winning many awards along the way.

What made it so good is that for the bulk of the show you found yourself crying with laughter, and, the acid test of course was the fact that you would find yourself repeating lines and phrases to friends and colleagues, I for one loved to walk into the office in a morning and cry out ‘Biggidy Biggidy Bong’ to the team!

The list of classic features is endless, many of them spoofs and downright wind ups, but for me things like ‘Beat The Clock’, which gave the classic line “Stop! Carry on……”, One Man And His Frog with Scoff Cruddle, Fat Harry White (and his soft top Bedford Rascale!), and of course my favourite, ‘It’s A Mystery’, were absolute classics.

‘It’s A Mystery’ was hilarious, basically a penniless social misfit would call the show, and have the simple task of identifying a mystery voice, which clearly they never managed to do, coming up with ridiculous answers. The prize money was a massive five pounds, and the contestant would always reply when told of the award on offer

“Five pounds, blimey Charlie, it’s a lorra cash.”

All things come to an end though, I listened to the last ever broadcast in my car, sat in a car park in Dronfield, with a tear in my eye. The final song they played was Crazy, Cray Nights by Kiss, which kind of summed them up. The reality was though, the World was becoming more politically correct, Mark & Lard were close to the line on that, and I guess they weren’t the image Radio One were wanting to portray.

It's over twenty years since I first discovered the show, and even today I find myself repeating lines in my head, it must be an age thing, but I suspect one or two of you reading this now have got a smile on your faces as it brings back a few memories!

So, what the hell has this got to do with a West Midlands Regional League game played in the Erdington district of Birmingham, well I’ll come onto that later, but first, what are Edgbaston Spartans all about?

Spartans are a relative newcomer to the West Midlands Regional League having played games at a few venues over the years, all of which I’d previously visited, but then it came to light at the start of the current campaign that they were playing at the Hollyfields Sport and Conference Centre in Erdington, and that rang a bell.

Turns out I’d been to a game round the corner at the Holly Lane Sports Ground, which was also home to a Gaelic Sports Club, but Hollyfields itself, that was a new one on me. I’ll be honest though, I hadn’t actually been planning on going to this particular game, I’d got one pencilled in for later in September but when my original plan of a game at Punjab United was postponed the night before, I quickly had a re-think and re-set the sat nav accordingly.

The club itself is a well known grassroots organisation in West Midlands football, albeit they were only formed in 2020 by two Greek friends called Dimitrios Ampatzidis and Giani Ntente. The whole idea behind Spartans was inspired by the plan to create something that would assist in the promotion of Greek and Cypriot footballers in the Birmingham area, with the view of creating an academy where talent could develop.

I have to say on first impressions, the move to Hollyfields is a positive one. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I rolled into Erdington, but once in the car park you can’t help but be pleasantly surprised by what they have available to them. A couple of full sized pitches are at the complex, but the main pitch on the right is fully railed, and has a small area of cover on the half way line. From the signage it looks like the principal users of the facility are a club called Hollyfields FC, which I think may be a Sunday side.

The dressing rooms sit in the corner of the complex but behind the goal next to the car park is the hugely impressive conferencing facility, with it’s smart bar area and kitchen which cooks to order from a good sized menu. It also has a large outdoor seated area to the front, so if you weren’t in the car, it was a good place to visit! Yes, Spartans have landed on a good one with this venue!

The game proved to be a very entertaining one with the hosts running out 5-2 winners against a PS Olympic side who are Dudley based, and are newcomers to the league this season.

The Spartans goalscorers were Yakubu Idris Yakubu, Jhon De Blas and a hat-trick from in form striker Erman Kaloti who propelled himself to the top of the league table for goal scorers after four games. Credit also to goalkeeper Muhammad Sufian Souleman who made a vital penalty save when the game was delicately poised. For the record, Will Massey and Calum Wyant were the goalscorers for Olympic.

All is looking good for Edgbaston Spartans, but where does the five pounds come into it?

I’m going to have to be careful here, but I’ll just say it how it is. Mid-way through the first half I was approached to purchase a match ticket, which for West Midlands Division Two is something that occasionally happens, in the sense you need to pay admission, a couple of quid maybe. I asked how much a ticket would cost, and was told it was five pounds…

“Five pounds!” I said to myself, “Blimey Charlie, it’s a lorra cash!”

But please, don’t under any circumstances let it put you off, a great club at a great venue!