ISECESEX

Worthing  1   Eastbourne Borough   1

National League - South

I talked in my last blog about the profound influence the Mark & Lard Radio Show had on my formative years, well, at a similar time a certain TV show was equally influential in terms of my behavioural development!

Men Behaving Badly was the epitome of laddishness in the mid to late Nineties. Along with my old mate Tim, we would spend hours watching episode after episode of Gary and Tony’s lager fuelled antics, going to great lengths of try and replicate some of the mis-adventure that characterised their lifestyle.

One episode sticks in the mind and that was the one where Gary was invited to a conference at the seaside courtesy of his employers, and in his wisdom he chose to take Tony with him along with their two respective girlfriends. It didn’t go smoothly of course, a giant fish was stolen from the roof of a seafront pavilion and then had to be somehow disposed of, while Gary ended up falling for a fellow conference delegate.

The International Security Equipment and Services Exhibition, or ISECESEX, saw the famous four holed up in the Groyne View Hotel in the South Coast resort of Worthing, and while there was a sense that Sussex’s finest was being mocked a little in the episode, it is remembered fondly it seems to this day within the town as being a moment that gave Worthing it’s moment in the national spotlight.

I’ve always remembered it, and whenever I think of Worthing, I think of Gary and Tony stumbling around drunkenly on the beach. But, as I close in on my fiftieth birthday, I can honestly say that I’ve never once set foot in place. It was about to change though…..

Just before the World fell apart in the Spring of 2020, I made the journey to Havant & Waterlooville for a National League South game and at the time that was a landmark moment because it meant I’d visited every football ground in the top six tiers of England.

The only changes since that point have been the new homes of Brentford and AFC Wimbledon, but this time around a new name appeared on the list and that came courtesy of the recently crowned Isthmian League Champions, yes, Worthing.

I did plan to go by train but a lack of budget options, notably on the run between London and Sussex, put me off that idea. Then I talked to Steve about maybe us travelling together when he was going to nearby Littlehampton Town (Steve has completed the top eight levels, he’s better than me!), but finding a weekend when the two were at home, and, it didn’t coincide with a Manchester City home game (Steve is a season ticket holder), didn’t prove easy.

So, I tentatively looked at August Bank Holiday Monday, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to be busy on the roads is it? Anyway, I pondered on it, sought assurances from Mrs H that it wouldn’t lead to a courtroom, and made my decision on Sunday morning that the plunge was going to have to be taken, I mean, a local derby against Eastbourne Borough, what’s not to like?

I had a lovely run down, the M1 and the M25 were pretty well behaved, and then it was round the edges of Leatherhead and Dorking before the A24 took me via Horsham to the edges of Worthing. I really enjoyed the drive post the M25, it was a road I’d never sampled before (apart from visits to Leatherhead and Dorking), and it was only the last few miles to the seaside town they had no intentions of closing down (spurious Morrissey link) that proved to be a bit sticky from a volume of traffic point of view.

That said, it wasn’t long before I was parking up on Woodside Road, a short work from the stadium where the players and early bird spectators were starting to show up.

So, the Worthing story, what’s it all about?

The club joined the Isthmian League in 1977, where they bobbed up and down the divisions for a number of seasons but then in 2015 a former youth player in the shape of George Dowell stepped up to become the majority shareholder, and subsequently turned the clubs fortunes around.

George Dowell’s story is a remarkable one. In 2010 he was involved in a serious car crash which ended his playing career and confined him to a wheelchair. The compensation money he received was used to help the club, firstly wiping out debts, laying a new 3G pitch, and giving the clubhouse a modern day makeover.

He went on to create a community football hub at Woodside Road, and re-appointed Adam Hinshelwood as manager. The club was to go from strength to strength, winning promotion from Isthmian Division One South in 2015-16, beating Faversham Town in the Play Off Final, and then after two abortive COVID hit seasons when they started out as promotion favourites, they finally won the Premier Division last season.

So here we are today, and, they’ve made a very decent start to the National League South campaign, as I write this they are seven games in and remain unbeaten. But let’s start with Woodside Road, and to be honest, I really liked it.

You enter the ground behind the goal, where there is uncovered terracing to the right side (the away end) and covered terracing to the left. Various food and drinks outlets are dotted about, but then as you work your way round to the left you find the tall and imposing main stand, which contains a bar and the dressing rooms underneath (the main clubhouse sits outside the ground). The opposite end is terraced with an area of shallow cover while the side opposite the main stand is terraced for the full length with another small area of cover in the middle.

Is it football ground porn? Not hardcore I would say, but it’s certainly top shelf, and the reason for that is that while improving the facilities as they’ve had to do, it’s kept it’s character and it still has an old school charm about the place. Yes, visit it, you won’t be disappointed!

So having parted with £15 I made my way to the bar under the stand and had a latch lifter in readiness for the game. A big crowd was expected, and it was segregated, although in hindsight despite the distance Eastbourne didn’t bring a huge amount with them and to be fair, the atmosphere was jovial and well behaved. Both sets of fans made plenty of noise, but what happened on the pitch?

It was a game of few chances, and it was Eastbourne who went in at half time with the lead when James Hammond curled in a free kick on the half hour mark. Worthing had plenty of the ball as the game moved into the second period but struggled to create many real clear cut opportunities.

They found themselves at a man advantage on the hour mark when Borough’s Elliott Romain saw red for bouncing his elbow off of the nose of a Worthing player, but then with two minutes to go following a recycled corner kick Callum Kealey managed to nod the ball home from close range. The draw was probably fair, Worthing had a lot of possession but Eastbourne were well organised and put in a real shift to get something out of the game.

The crowd was 1662, and given how tight the roads were around the ground, I legged it at the final whistle and made sure I was away before any sort of gridlock set in! The journey back wasn’t quite so pleasurable with M25 being the proverbial pain in the rear around the M3 / M4 / M40 intersections, but it was back through the front door at 8.40pm, a great day out, and a proper job done!

I never did get to see though if the plastic fish has found it’s way back onto the pavilion roof!