Ecclesiastical

Trent Vineyard  2  St Albans  5

Derby Church League – Premier Division

Admission / Programme – No / No

Church football, now that’s a concept that will be lost on many I suspect?

I first discovered it when we came out of Covid lockdown, when Steve, or Socially Distanced Steve as he was referred to at the time, in his busy periods of being retired, spotted that a league existed in the locality with games being played on a Saturday morning. Games, which if planned right, could be linked up with matches on a Saturday afternoon in some of the non-ecclesiastical competitions!

I was curious, who played in a Church League, and what was the standard like?

My first venture into it was against the law, it was at Field Lane in Derby where a team called New Life played, we weren’t allowed to watch football back then unless we happened to chance upon it while walking a dog, I sought forgiveness but I’m not convinced it was ever granted to be honest.

Then, I went to another one, this time it was in Mansfield, to watch a team called MAFC who played on the Manor Recreation Ground, I was allowed to watch at that point but I was very much on my own as it absolutely wazzed it down, the pitch ended up becoming a swamp, and I saw my first red card in the competition!

So what is it then?

Simple really, teams linked to religious venues, getting together to play on a Saturday morning, all of whom are based in the East Midlands. Not sure why it’s a specific Saturday morning competition, but like most Saturday morning competitions, it allows the participants to be done by lunchtime and then be free to do what they wish for the rest of the day. I think in some places it caters for those who want to watch professional football, whether that was the case in Derby I’m not sure, you would need divine intervention at times to go Pride Park!

Anyroadup, to explain why we went to this game (Steve was also in attendance), I need to tell you a little story. For a few years now, Notts Senior League sides would arrange pre-season friendlies at a place called Chilwell Olympia, but, for some reason, no one ever seemed to base themselves at the venue. That puzzled me, so I asked the oracle of NSL football, Rob Hornby, why that was. He told me it was because the facilities were used during the season for athletics so no one could have regular use of the football pitches.

Ok, made sense, but then when the NSL released it’s handbook at the start of the season, Trent Vineyard (a club with church links) were showing as using Chilwell Olympia as a home venue. Mmm, we thought, so a little bit of digging around later and it transpired that firstly, that was indeed correct, and secondly, they were putting a team in the Derby Church League this season.

Well, that sorted that one out, Chilwell and churches, we were on our way!

Steve arrived first, and having surveyed the scene he did indeed establish that we had two teams, the aforementioned Trent Vineyard, who if I’m honest, when they first came on the scene I assumed were a team linked to a drinking establishment, and, St Albans, a team linked to a church in Chaddesden.

I was running a bit late, I didn’t get up in time and I mis-calculated how long it would take me to get to Chilwell, which for the uneducated is on the road between Attenborough and Beeston. Anyway, my sat nav stitched me up and tried to get me to drive along a public footpath, so I ended up dumping my car in a cul-de-sac and walking up the said path, much to the surprise of Steve who had spent a good ten minutes on the phone to me earlier explaining the mechanics of how to get into the car park.

Chilwell Olympia is a nice venue, it’s pretty large sports centre for a start with a plethora of pitches set to the rear, the one we watched the game on was adjacent to the footpath that intersected the complex, with a golf course set behind it, Chilwell Manor Golf Club apparently. A pond sits behind the top goal and has been securely fenced off, and then further beyond from that are the buildings that adorn the site, where sports such as badminton, karate, gymnastics and kabaddi take place.

It’s fair to say that a fair bit goes on at Chilwell Olympia, but how did the football pan out?

You know what, it wasn’t high on quality by any means, and after the short prayer that takes place in a ceremonial fashion prior to kick off in the DCL, we were treated to a good honest game where some of the modern day annoyances were distinctly absent.

The visitors were 2-0 up at the break and looked the better side, and they did go on to score five times thanks to Luther Frazier who netted a hat-trick, Jack Scholes and Jon Goodwin. Vineyard battled hard and were rewarded with two goals thanks to a brace from Immanuel Dube. Notably, in the line up for Vineyard was a chap called Peter Miller, now some of you readers will know straightaway who Peter is, some will have no idea.

Peter is a well known ‘Pyramidista’, and each season he a creates a monstrous Excel Spreadsheet charting the promotion and relegation permutations in the National League System. His work is widely known and indeed highly respected, and I have to say, due to the fact that as the season gathers pace he updates it very regularly, it’s something I find myself poring over on a fairly frequent basis.

Anyway, Steve and I agreed that the mornings entertainment had been very enjoyable, played in a great spirit, at a nice venue, but, we had to get back in the cars, which were parked at opposite ends of the complex, only we had game number two to get to……