Bangers

Onchan  6  Douglas & District  0

Isle of Man Football League – Division Two

Admission / Programme – No / No

“I’m gonna have to be straight with you, the chances of us landing in the Isle of Man right now are marginal.”

The words of the captain on the 0710 flight from Liverpool to Ronaldsway, Steve and I just looked at each other, surely our second attempt to get to the Isle of Man wasn’t going to fall on it’s arse, was it?

Bearing in mind last season, with flights and hotels all booked, we ended up having to cancel due to a late fixture change for FC Isle of Man (our intended destination), surely this wasn’t going to go wrong this late in the day, bearing in mind we were about to take off?

Anyway, on the basis that I’m about to write a report about a game on the island, you are safe to assume that we did actually make it, but the Easyjet debacle, I’ll come to the finer details on that shortly!

Yes, we had a plan, the planets aligned, Manchester City had an international break so Steve could be released into the wild, and as long as someone didn’t bugger about with the fixtures at the last minute, then FC Isle of Man v Prestwich Heys was the game. Furthermore, if all went to plan, we could also take in a game earlier in the day in the local Isle of Man Football League.

The early flight from Liverpool posed a bit of a logistical challenge, but, being resourceful, we decided to book a cheap hotel in Runcorn, which meant a short run over the bridge the following morning. Runcorn was a delight on an extremely warm and muggy evening, it started with the lad on the check in desk at the hotel trying to establish whether we were a couple or not, followed by a meeting in the car park with a group of gentlemen who advised us of the perils of drinking in Runcorn.

Drinking in Runcorn it was though, we left Wetherspoons just after the fight in the street between a paralytic woman and a topless bloke, and as the two plod cars turned up we chose to have a walk along the ‘promenade’ before taking in a back street boozer and heading back to our (separate) beds.

Then came the flight, it was a bit foggy in Liverpool, but then we had the announcement, it seems Ronaldsway Airport isn’t as advanced as other UK airports and as a result you need a minimum of a kilometres visibility in the event of fog, and at 7am, that visibility was 700 metres. The pilot elected to fly over anyway, with extra fuel on board, and hope that it cleared before the fuel ran out!

As we got over the island, the fog was still an issue, so the announcement came that unless things changed pretty quickly, we were heading back to Liverpool. It was only a matter of minutes though after the announcement came, that the seatbelt lights went on and the cabin crew were ordered to prepare for landing, it seemed, we were finally going to be getting our feet on Manx soil!

Land we did, and guess what, no sign of any fog, it must have lifted pretty quickly, but by this time another thought had gone through our heads. If Prestwich Heys were flying from Manchester, what was the status with their flights? Two flights from Manchester were coming over in quick succession and were due to land not long after our flight, but according to the boards, both had been delayed.

It seemed the decision at Manchester had been taken to delay flights to allow the fog to clear, so when Prestwich tweeted a photo of their travelling group on board a Logan Air flight, we were comfortable in the knowledge that all should be good in the World.

Neither of us had ever been to the Isle of Man before, so this was going to be an experience. The bus journey from Ronaldsway took us via the famous Fairy Bridge (Hello Fairies), before dropping us in the centre of Douglas, our destination for the next 24 hours. We decamped to a café for some breakfast, and an opportunity to confirm the days plan.

We had looked at the Isle of Man League fixtures and initially picked out a couple of games in Douglas, close to our hotel, and only a few hundred yards from each other. One was at St George’s, which was adjacent to the pits and grandstand on the TT circuit, while literally round the corner from that was the home of Braddan, who were also at home. However, to cut a long story short, I got wind of a team called Onchan, who played at a banger / stock car stadium (with a bar!), and was only a twenty minute walk from base camp.

Bearing in mind the first game on the island was going to be Steve’s 2000^th ground, he wanted a special one, so my suggestion of one with a bar to celebrate ticked the boxes, Onchan it was to be, even if it wasn’t a game in the top flight.

But before that, we had a little bit of exploring to do. I wanted to have my photograph taken with the Bee Gees statue, seems they were from IOM (Steve thought they were Australian – and for that very reason he couldn’t stand them), so we got that done, and then we had a little meander around Douglas taking in the promenade, the shops, the harbour and the steam railway station. Douglas is a lovely place, I would recommend it to anyone.

With the touristy bit done, and the sun bearing down upon us, we decided to retire to a pub near the harbour for a quick snifter. What was notable throughout the day, was the fact that the TT (Tourist Trophy) absolutely dominates on the island. Pubs were adorned with photographs, shops in both the town and along the promenade were dedicated to it, and it was while looking at the photo’s in the pub that we decided that we’d take a walk up to the grandstand and pit lane which sits on the main road that runs up to Ramsey.

The walk was about twenty minutes, uphill as well on a very warm day, but it was worth the effort, especially as the grandstand was accessible, so with a seat on the upper deck we could look along the start / finish straight, and wonder just how you can actually average speeds of around 130mph on what are quite simply, public roads. With that visit complete, it was back down to the hotel to drop off the bags (taking in a quick look at the home of St George’s AFC), before the walk to the first game, which again was twenty minutes away, and again, uphill!

Onchan Pleasure Park was a hive of activity when we arrived, you’d got kids on mini go karts, a small boating lake, bowls, a kids play area, and rather handily the Ocean Views Bar & Grill, which backed onto the stand which looked out over the Onchan Raceway. Liquid refreshment was of course taken once we’d confirmed the game was taking place, and with a doorway leading straight out into the seats from the bar, it was as good as being in the corporate area!

Onchan Raceway is a cracking venue. The old wooden seated stand takes up about half of the length of the South touchline, but of course given that it is a raceway it is some distance from the pitch and it does have a safety fence in front of it. That said, if you wanted, you could walk down to the edge of the pitch, however we chose not to, and that was more to do with the blazing sun as opposed to the speed of access back to the bar!. Going round in a clockwise fashion the track banks round the West bend but on this bend, to the North side is another seated stand which from it’s elevated position, does give excellent views of the proceedings, be it football or bangers!

The North side has a grass bank leading up the half way line, but then after that is basically the pit area for the bangers and stock cars. A race meeting was taking place later that evening, so cars were being worked on, and, with dozens of vehicles stored in this area, to do a full circuit of the complex you had to go onto the track itself, admiring the many cars as you wandered past that had been saved from the breakers yard and turned into racing machines.

Onchan AFC were relegated from the top flight at the end of last season, and to be truthful, they were far too good for Douglas & District on the day. It was clear from early on in proceedings that they were the better side, and the 6-0 victory was by no means flattering to the hosts who made it two wins from two having put eight past Pulrose United the previous week.

At the final whistle, it was time to get the map out (well, phone), we had another walk to do, 40 minutes this time, back down to the front and then across the back of the town to the Douglas Bowl, the sun was still shining and Steve was still conscious, so far, so very good…….