Jam

Maldon & Tiptree  0  Bury Town  0

Isthmian League – First Division North

Admission / Programme - £10 / £2

I have a problem with jam.

As a child, I didn’t have a problem with jam, I’d have it in sandwiches, I’d have it on toast, I’d even raid my Grandma’s cupboard for what seemed like an endless supply of jam tarts. In short, I couldn’t get enough of the stuff.

But that’s changed, you see as an older and eminently more sensible man, I’ve developed a fundamental issue with sweet and savoury combinations. So jam with anything savoury is properly gross, just like the thought of chocolate spread on anything bread like, or those sick heathens who think it’s even remotely appropriate to lob maple syrup on bacon.

But, the other issue is jam jars, they’re ok when first obtained from the supermarket, but once they’ve been opened they become a sticky mess, so even going into the fridge to get one out for family members who are clearly depraved, is a horrible experience.

So, you can shove your jam, unless of course you are having it with clotted cream on a scone, now in that case I’m all for it, bring it on, but other than that, it’s horrible stuff.

Maldon & Tiptree FC are called the Jammers (to be fair I’ve probably already peed them off by now, but if anyone is still reading from Jamsville, thank you!). The nickname comes about because the village of Tiptree is famed for it’s preserve making industry. The company Wilkins & Sons employs over 200 people and is a multi-million pound business. To put it into perspective, Tiptree has a population of around 7500 people, so a decent proportion of the employed population work in jam!

Let’s change the subject for a while.

I decided to head for Essex once again, this time to an area that it appears has been labelled the ‘Essex Riviera’. Next door to Heybridge where I went the other week, Maldon is a small town that sits on the estuary of the River Chelmer, but it has something of seaside feel to it what with it’s promenade and it’s harbour. It’s also famous for it’s famous people, one of whom is former England cricket captain Sir Alastair Cook who could bat a bit, and some geezer called Sam Ryder who would have won Eurovision had it not been for the Ukrainian sympathy vote.

It's not the easiest place to get to, I had designs of going the same way as I travelled to Heybridge but a closure on the M11 meant my technology decided I was going all the way down to the M25 and then onto the A12. I did set off a bit late to be fair, a long story involving a car park in Derby, but that’s not one to labour on, however it did mean I was a bit later than I would normally be arriving at the ground, so much so I had to mangle a grass verge to park.

So what’s the deal with Maldon & Tiptree FC then?   

Once there was a Maldon Town Football Club and once there was a Tiptree United Football Club, but let’s start with Maldon Town. Formed in 1946, they spent time in local leagues, followed by the Essex Senior League and then the Eastern Counties League, indeed finishing runners up in 2003-04 and getting promoted to the Southern League. The year before promotion they had reached the semi-final stage of the FA Vase, losing to AFC Sudbury, a neighbouring club so to speak. A promotion via the play offs the following season took place and they had a year in the Premier Division of the Isthmian League, before suffering relegation after just a solitary campaign.

In September 2009 the Tiptree United Chairman took over Maldon and also moved his club to Maldon’s ground. Before the season was finished, it was announced the two clubs were to merge. Tiptree for the record, were an established Eastern Counties League side who actually reached the FA Vase Final in 2002 only to lose to Whitley Bay at Villa Park. The year before the merger, Tiptree had been moved to the Essex Senior League, having left the same competition in 1979, after originally being founder members in 1971.

So, we had a merger (albeit that is open to debate from a terminology perspective), and how did the new club do?

In 2013, 2017 and 2019 the club reached the Final of the Step 4 Play Offs on three occasions, only to lose to Thamesmead Town, Thurrock and agonisingly on penalties to near neighbours Heybridge respectively. So they remain at Step 4 still, but they have had some FA Cup success. In 2020 they beat Leyton Orient 2-1 in the First Round before losing 1-0 against Newport County in the Second Round. In 2021 they once again made the First Round, this time losing 1-0 to Morecambe.

Currently managed by none other than Peter Taylor (he of England, Leicester City and Crystal Palace  fame), they occupied something of a lower mid-table position before the game, with visitors Bury Town sat in what can best be described as an upper mid-table position.

The ground is a large expanse, set in an area that was notable for the fact much new build housing appears to be popping up in the proximity, albeit nothing appeared to be encroaching upon the stadium. You enter in the corner, and to your right is a seated stand, with the clubhouse and dressing rooms set away to the rear of it. The tunnel area from the dressing rooms leads to an unusual brick built construction that houses the dugouts, which means you cannot get access to Mr Taylor even if you wanted to!

Two other areas of cover adorn the ground, one being a seated stand that stretches back a good distance and is embedded into a grass bank on the Eastern side of the pitch, while a further seated stand sits behind the North goal. I should imagine on a cold day, it’s probably colder than most grounds when you pay a visit to Maldon & Tiptree.

The game, well it finished 0-0, and to be fair, both sides had a couple of decent chances, but as I put the key in the front door at around 8pm that night, I did wonder that had they still have been playing the score would probably have remained goalless! It wasn’t a bad game quality wise, it just lacked a bit in terms of excitement.

You know what though, I’ve covered some serious miles on Saturday’s so far this calendar year, and I have to admit that it’s starting to get a bit tiring, so for the following two Saturday’s I’ve had closer to home games imposed on me (I’ll not bore you). That said, it won’t be long before I’m craving another trip out to the South of England.

One thing I won’t be craving though is jam, bloody awful stuff!