Mrs H's Sat Nav

Punjab United  1  Pelsall Villa Colts  6

West Midlands Regional League – Division Two

Admission / Programme – Free / No

I was under strict orders to stay local, you see my car is going back shortly and to make sure I don’t get hit with any meaty charges, I’d employed the skills of my brother in law who was going to repair the kerbed alloys, polish out any scratches and scuffs, and if possible, remove the minor dints caused when colliding with animals…

Mrs H was lending me her car, and she needed it until lunchtime so restrictions were in place, but that wasn’t an issue, I’d got a couple of games in the Staffordshire area on the radar, one of which being the game at Codsall High School where West Midlands Regional League outfit Punjab United were now playing.

When Punjab first came into the league they played at a ground in Penkridge that had been used by Penkridge Town, but my understanding was that they were developing the facilities at Penn Cricket Club with all intentions of making that their home. I have to say then it did come as something of a surprise to see that they were now at Codsall.

The trouble is with driving cars other than your own is not the actual driving of them, that’s dead easy, it’s the operation of the sat nav that’s the issue. 95% of the time I can pretty much predict the route the say nav in my car is going to take me to a place. So for Codsall, it would have down to the M6 Cannock junction, straight over to the M54, then up a junction, then towards Wolverhampton before turning right at the roundabout for Bilbrook and Pendeford.

Mrs H’s car was having none of that, it wanted me to go along the A5 at Cannock and then down some back roads, it was clearly deluded, thick even, why on earth would I do that? Not a chance was I following it’s misguided guidance, I was going the way I know, and the way any normal person would go.

The thing is, Mrs H’s sat nav is obviously quite clever, only it had worked out that Wolves were at home to Forest, and therefore the main routes into the City would probably be quite busy, as I found to my cost as I queued for a considerable length of time before getting to the M54….oh well, at least I’m honest about it, it’s not just sat nav’s that make mistakes you know.

Once off the main drag into Wolverhampton it was on past the home of Bilbrook FC (I assume they still exist?) before quickly arriving in Codsall and finding the venue with ease. Like many institutions nowadays, the school and the leisure centre share the same site, with the 4G pitch being used by Punjab being located to the rear. It’s always something of a relief when you spot players in two different coloured kits ambling around the area, which was the case when I landed, but just to be sure I had a wander up to the check things out.

I ended up chatting to the referee who confirmed all was good, and indeed the game was a 3pm kick off, which gave me time to try and figure out Mrs H’s sat nav, which to be fair was a bit of a waste of time as her car is going back shortly as well. With that sorted I had Five Live for company until kick off, with the featured game being of course Forest at Wolves, a must win for both clubs it seemed, even at this stage of proceedings.

Prior to proceedings, Punjab were in the lower reaches of the table, whereas Pelsall Villa Colts, who last season played in the Staffordshire County Senior League, were at the other end of the table, and to be brutally honest, once the game got underway it showed.

Punjab, with a bare eleven on the pitch and no subs, were outplayed in the first half and went in four goals down, but it could have been more. In fairness, at that stage I was predicting a cricket score, but I have to say Punjab did show a bit more in the second period, were certainly a bit better organised and scored a cracking free kick.

That said, Pelsall found the net twice more and finished up with a comfortable 6-1 victory. The Pelsall goals came from Liam Matthews, Will Osborne, Alex Porter, Bobby Speed, Jordan Spragg and Nathan Baker. The Worldie free kick from Punjab was courtesy of Sebastian Haldron, take a bow son!

I appreciate I haven’t described the facilities yet, well, I don’t really need to as you will know by now exactly what they look like. A cage, with a viewing area two third of the length of one side, and that’s kind of it. It hammered it down with rain for a period so a bit of cover would have been handy, but not to worry, I had my umbrella in the boot, the boot of the car that was being carefully tidied up back in Belper…….

So, that was it, Forest lost 1-0 at Wolves and I decided to follow the sat nav back. It wanted to take me exactly the route back it had wanted to bring me on, so I trusted it. Tight country lanes, single lane tracks, junctions that appeared out of nowhere and then finally back on the A5.  

When does my new car arrive?