The Parmo

Thornaby   1   Penrith   2 

Northern League – Division One

One of the knock on effects of lockdown from a work perspective has been a re-allocation of branches. I got the call to say my South Yorkshire patch was going to be extending into North Yorkshire and Teesside.

Never one to miss an opportunity, I saw with this an opportunity! The Northern League is something I’ve not really immersed myself into, but, that could quite possibly change moving forward.

Naturally, any visits to this new frontier would have to be on Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s, and with it could be combined some exciting new places, places like Esh Winning, West Allotment and of course Ryton & Crawcrook, all uncharted water a far as I was concerned.

So the first visit came, a meeting with the new team in Darlington, and after the first forty five minutes of introductions and welcomes, I’d written one word on my notepad.

'Parmo'

Now I’ve never heard of a Parmo before, but when the conversation inevitably went onto food options for lunchtime (I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of food outlets close to my offices) I got told that I had to try this unique Teesside delicacy. It appears it’s a chicken breast that’s had the life smashed out of it, deep fried in breadcrumbs, then topped with béchamel and cheese, before being popped under the grill. Apparently it’s the Teesside version of the doner kebab, a must have after a gallon of loudmouth soup, and with it something like 2500 calories a throw, more if you have chips with it.

It seemed a bit much for lunchtime, but of an evening, that’s a different story! More on food later….

I’d got a number of games on the radar for the evening, matches were taking place at Billingham Synthonia, Redcar Athletic, Crook Town and Guisborough Town, but my plan was to make the short journey down the A66 to Thornaby.

I must admit though, I started to have my doubts at the beginning of the week. The Covid count in the North East started to rocket as areas were placed on watch, then suddenly as we approached Tuesday, a number of games bit the dust, albeit largely in the Newcastle and Sunderland areas, which to be fair, are a good way from Middlesbrough.

Thankfully though the Wednesday fixture programme was largely unaffected, so with all of my game options showing as on, I could leave Darlo with some confidence.

It was a relatively straightforward journey to the Teesdale Park home of Thornaby. The ground sits only a short distance from the A19, and is located up a long driveway, adjacent to a golf course. Crowds are limited to 300, and with the previous game being a sell out, I made a point of arriving nice and early to secure a ticket, and with it a place in the car park.

Teesdale Park is an interesting venue, the car park is behind the East goal, and once having purchased a ticket and left the obligatory contact details at the turnstile in the corner, the clubhouse was to the left, with what is effectively a large stage built to the side of it. The stage is covered, and has wooden pub style benches for al-fresco drinking, along with a PA Announcer cum DJ who has probably the most advanced sound equipment in non-league football!

In front of the clubhouse is some steep uncovered seating, while the tea bar sat at the end of the building.

The South side of the ground is hard standing with a large grass bank behind, while moving to the opposite goal, some old terracing with a low roof provides further cover. The main stand and the dressing rooms, which are all one building, sits on the half way line opposite the grass banking side.

Back to food again.

I was browsing the programme when the first thing that caught my eye was an advert for the final of the Chicken Nugget Eating Contest, which forms part of the British Eating League. It also appears the BEL is a member of the Competitive Eating Global Association, so crikey, eating is a sport now? Anyway, a £1000 prize was on offer for the contest which is due to take place in nearby Stockton on a Saturday in October!

Feeling suitably peckish now, it was time for a trip to the tea bar, and on the menu, it stood out like a beacon, Parmo! I had a decision to make, do I, don’t I, how do you actually eat it, do you use a knife and fork or do you just pick it up? Anyway, the bloke in front of me ordered one…

“Sorry, we’ve not had any Parmo’s delivered this week.”

I had a burger.

So what’s the story with Thornaby FC then?

Formed from the famous old Stockton club in 1999, they were originally known  as Thornaby-on-Tees for just one season until 2000-01 when they became known as they are now. The previous club had been relegated to the second tier of the Northern League, where, apart from a couple of brief dalliances with the top flight, they remained until 2018-19 when they finished runners-up and with it earned promotion.

In all honesty though, when the last campaign was abandoned they were having a tough time, with just five wins from the 29 games played, so this time out, the aim is surely to retain their top flight Northern League status.

I do love watching Northern League games, the standard is just so good for the level the competition is placed at. If you need any evidence that it’s by far and away the best Step 5 league then just look at the FA Vase. Last season’s final, which is yet to be played, see’s two of the league’s sides meeting in the shape of Hebburn Town and Consett. Furthermore, just look at how well promoted teams perform at Step 4, both Morpeth Town and South Shields in recent seasons have simply gone straight through.

The game itself was entertaining. The hosts took the lead as early as the fourth minute when Lewis Murphy fired home, but within ten minutes we had parity when Kyle May found the back of the net, leaving the Thornaby defence to ask questions of one another.

Penrith were organised and resolute, and despite pressure in the second period they stood firm and indeed took the lead on the hour mark through Max Brown. Thornaby threw everything at Penrith in the closing stages but to be honest, I couldn’t see them scoring, and they didn’t.

The car park was escaped painlessly and I was soon on the A19, and on a night when the roads behaved impeccably, I was back through the door before 11.30pm.

The Parmo though, that will have to wait until next time, assuming of course in the current climate, there is a next time…….