Saturday 15 February 2020

The Pie


Kilmarnock  2  Rangers  1

Scottish Football League – Premier Division

Apparently, the ‘Kilmarnock Pie’ is known for being the best pie that can be purchased at a football ground in Scotland, and probably anywhere in the World. I know that because my mate Rosco, from Killie, told me.

Back in 2003, local purveyor of pies, Brownings The Bakers, created the pie, especially for the football club and it was originally called a ‘Killie Pie’, but it seems in recent years, lawyers, injunctions, controversy and even a ban have tainted this match day delicacy.

A very messy situation, played out in the Scottish media, but the meat and gravy variety, whatever you want to call it, is very much available, bucking the usual trend North of the border of Scotch Pies and Bridies.

Pies aside for the time being, Scotland was upon us again and it just so happened that a full programme of SPL fixtures should fall on the night before our meeting.  It also just so happened that with Rosco living in Kilmarnock, and thanks to local knowledge and the fact the discussion about the February trip took place at the end of November, he urged us to book into the Park Hotel which sits in the football club park, and that tickets would be ‘nae bother’.


The only slight issue with said Kilmarnock based colleague is that he’s got a Rangers season ticket! It proved to be only a minor matter, off he trotted to the ground a week before the game and seven tickets were procured for the main stand. It seems that games involving the Auld Firm rarely sell out, apart from of course the away ends, the only concern being away fans buying tickets for the home end, like we did, but we did promise to behave!

The journey from Belper began at 8.45am, a lift courtesy of Brother in Law to Derby Station, and then a train to Crewe. I had an hour in Crewe to kill before getting the Avanti Service direct to Glasgow Central. Glasgae was hit slightly later than planned, triggering the delay repay clause, but giving me just enough time to hop across a couple of platforms for the Kilmarnock bound choo choo.

Rugby Park is a ten minute walk from the centre of Kilmarnock, and is basically a straight line from the railway head. The first thing that strikes you as you leave the station is a pub on the corner called ‘Fanny By Gaslight’ and a tourist sign pointing you towards the ‘Dick Institute’. So, you have an instant choice, a Fanny or a Dick, or if you’re greedy or indeed unsure, go for both!


The Park Hotel sits literally behind the goal in the car park at the football ground, and was originally owned by the club. I don’t think it is now, but it still has a football feel about it, the Blues Restaurant being one example. I have to say as well that for less than £60 it was excellent value. The bar, the rooms and the food was very good, and the number of football fans converging on it before the game backed that up.

The meeting point was the First Edition pub in the town centre, and that was where the boys converged at the pre agreed time of 5.30pm. Food and drinkies were taken, but not too much food, the Killie Pie was waiting for us. We had time for a quick one in the Killie Bar before the game, and then it was into the cauldron of Rugby Park.


Just over 8,000 had assembled inside the relatively modern stadium as kick off approached. The three home sides of the ground were sparsely populated, whereas the end where the Rangers fans were located was packed to the rafters. I would have said the crowd split was probably 50/50.

At one time they used to give Rangers and Celtic both ends of the ground but that’s changed in recent years as it caused more problems than the money it generated for the club. It’s perhaps a sad indictment of Scottish football that the Auld Firm visits don’t get any more fans off their backsides than the likes of Livingston and Ross County. If the big two do eventually go South, as my mate said to me, that would be the end of Scottish football in terms of it being a spectacle, in his words ‘it would end up like the Northern Irish league’. Might be a bit more interesting though?

Rugby Park was rebuilt fairly recently, well, three sides were. It reminds me very much of Millwall’s ground, so from a descriptor point of view, three box style stands, with one older more traditional stand! The main feature for me being the floodlights which are mounted on the stand roof. Imagine old style pylons, but take away the pylons and stick the bit on the top on the stand roof, and that’s what you’ve got!


The Rangers fans made a hell of a noise, no one sat down, and from what I could gather, and I don’t profess to be able to decipher the dialect, they didn’t sing anything that could have triggered a fine. I could be wrong though, but to be fair Killie is a red, white and blue town, and as my mates told me, there will be more Gers in Killie than Killie fans, so no point going out of your way to offend anyone.

The game, oh dear!

Rangers took the lead just after the half hour with a 25 yard belter from Scott Arfield but they failed to kick on and then we saw the various sides of Alfredo Morelos. First a stupid dive and he gets a deserved yellow card, then an audacious chip from an angle that hit the bar, then a headed miss from five yards when he looked odds on to score then another crazy dive when somehow he avoided a second yellow and then a goal disallowed for offside. No one can say the guy isn’t entertaining! The sad postscript of course being allegations that he was racially abused, with the Police investigating.  


It all started to go wrong for Rangers when Kilmarnock equalised on 76 minutes courtesy of Stephen O’Donnell who converted a Niko Hämäläinen shot that was going wide. Then with two minutes left, the Killie fans went mad when Eamonn Brophy fired a shot across the keeper into the far corner of the net. I’ve never seen an end of a ground empty so quickly, and our Gers mate also made for a hasty exit!

The text came through, he was in a pub close to the ground so we went to join him, he wasn’t a happy man, and was even less of a happy man when Steven Gerrard was interviewed on television and questioned the players ability to handle pressure. That probably wasn’t a comment for the public domain. The title is going to Celtic, nine in a row, and that will hurt Rangers.

So, the pies?


I had one at half time, Colin had three, one before the game and two at half time. Absolutely awesome, without doubt the finest pie I have ever had, huge chunks of beef with gravy, while the pastry was cooked to perfection. I could have had more, but I’m not a fat boy like Colin!

Eight hours on the road, it was worth every minute!

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