Matchstalk Men

Heywood St James  0  Rochdale Sacred Heart  5

Manchester Football League – Premier Division

You know it’s the start of the football season when I suddenly have the urge to head in a North Westerly direction to watch some Manc League action!

It’s not that I will only entertain our Mancunian friends in the month of August, it’s just that they always seem to have a number of midweeks in the first couple of weeks of the season, so it gives me the chance to make a relatively short journey from my work base in Sheffield.

I started last season with six un-visited grounds in the top flight, but sneaked in a couple early doors and left the remaining four for the bad weather as they were all plastic bar one. As we now know, we didn’t get any bad weather so I never went, and as a result, due to promotions I was back at six again following the elevation of Pennington and Heywood St James.

Both were at home on a fine Tuesday night, but for geographical purposes (it was nearer) I chose Heywood, combined with the fact they had a derby game against neighbours Rochdale Sacred Heart, one of the fancied teams this season.

Heywood won promotion last season after finishing top of the First Division. They won 19 of their 24 games and that left them with a five point advantage over the aforementioned Pennington. It was sure to be an interesting test, especially being their first game of the season, having had the opening game at their ground called off on Saturday against Dukinfield Town due to waterlogging.

Heywood was reached with relative ease from the M62. Located almost equidistant between Rochdale and Bury, it’s a large place, and the ground is set just off the main A58 road that links the town with Bury. It’s a busy place, and I found a parking space on a side road, which gave me the chance to sample a pint in the nearby Browns No 1 pub.

Now, I witnessed something in the pub that even with my years of imbibing experience, was a first.

I was one of three customers, along with the bar staff and what looked like one of the staff's kids. They were playing some brilliant music over the jukebox, the Stone Roses was obligatory, while they also played a very evocative version of ‘Sunshine on Leith’ by the Proclaimers. However, the highlight came when Brian & Michael’s ‘Matchstalk Men…..’ rang out. Not only did it ring out though, it was the cue for the pub to join in with a sing song, all of about four people! I felt somewhat obliged……..

It might have been the first time I’ve had the experience of the Mancunian classic in a pub, but it’s not the first time I’ve had to sing along in a public environment. A few years ago now we were having a medium sized team meeting in the centre of Manchester, and we’d just come back from a lunch break.

The gaffer at the time felt we all needed a lift after lunch, so he got us all on our feet, put the song on You Tube and made us all sing it. It was a bit awkward, but we did it all the same, until he started to video us, and that was when it started to unravel a bit for him!

Anyhow, it was different all the same, and upon leaving the pub I did feel like I’d got a bit of a spring in my step, and I felt truly integrated into the locality!

Heywood St James play at Phoenix Park, and it’s very tightly hemmed in by housing on three sides and commercial premises on the main road side. I’d been warned about the car park, once you are in you don’t get out again, as some people did find to their costs who’d been to another event in a nearby building. The dressing rooms and clubhouse are separate structures that sit behind the goal, raised quite a height from the pitch. The clubhouse was open, and indeed a good size, which in fairness was a good shout given that a fair sized crowd had pitched up.

The ground is railed on two sides and slopes slightly from South to North, while the pitch looked in fine fettle despite the weekends rain.

On the field, it turned out to be a harsh learning experience for the Jimmies. They lost 5-0 to what looked like a very good Sacred Heart team. Jamie Barry, Jordan Harper and Harry Royds all found the net while Michael Kearney netted a brace. To rub salt into the wounds, Jimmies had Joshua Smethurst sent off from a hand ball that lead to a penalty.

Not a good day at the office, but I have no doubt they’ll be fine once they find their feet in the new division.

Maybe a burst of Brian & Michael before the game will give them that extra edge of a motivational boost, they just need to go and have a word with the lads in the pub?