That's (Probably) All Folks

St Patrick’s Former Pupils  3  Castlemilk Old Boys Club  0

Scottish Premier Amateur Football Association – Premiership

Admission / Programme – No / No

I’ve known for several weeks now that a trip North of the border was looming, and if I was going to be getting to a game, it would have to be on the final Tuesday of May.

Historically, pre pyramid days, that would have been a doddle, but nowadays they’ve got all these rules about when leagues need to be completed by and all that, it’s totally ruined it. I mean, some leagues used to run to the end of June, having taken three months off for winter!

Anyway, I kept an eye on things and it wasn’t looking great, unless I fancied a trip to Aberdeen and the Highlands, but I wasn’t doing that, so I’d largely given up on it.

But then, the weekend before and I have a little browse at my favourite Scottish fixtures site www.scottishfootballfixtures.com and what do I see?

A game it the Scottish Premier AFA, a title decider if you will, being played at Dumbarton Common.

I’ll be honest, I was flummoxed. I’d never heard of the competition, the two sides, while I’d never heard of them either, did sound like proper amateur sides (former pupils and all that), and as for the venue, I was correct in thinking Dumbarton Common was in Dumbarton, but where in Dumbarton, help??

So, a little bit of research was needed. The competition, well, much like the AFA in London, it is very much a regional set up across the central belt of Scotland (centred around Glasgow) and does indeed cater for the truly amateur clubs (those that don’t pay the players). It was top versus second, and as long as the hosts, St Patrick’s FP, didn’t lose by two or more goals, they would be four in a row champions.

So, the venue, well it turned out to be a hugely convenient one, because Dumbarton Common is a large expanse of grass that sits almost directly outside the North exit to Dumbarton Central train station. The kick off was 6.30pm, and as long as all went to plan, this was a goer!

The journey North started at 8.30am in Belper, and to be honest, I did wonder if the game would actually be played because the weather in Scotland had been shocking. A severe weather warning with danger to life on the Monday, followed by very heavy rain right up until kick off time in the vicinity of Glasgow, did make me think we might get a postponement.

That said, St Patrick’s are very active on Facebook and they posted a couple of times throughout the day about the game, so having landed in Glasgow at just before 3.30pm, and had a bit of food in the Spoons over the road (Mrs H very kindly sent myself and my colleague Rob a couple of beers via the App), I made my way up to Queen Street for the 25 minute journey to Dumbarton.

I’ve been to Dumbarton once before, it was in the days when the blog was having a break, and it was to the Dumbarton Stadium down by the Rock, it was back when Rangers B used the ground in the Lowland League, and I saw them lose to champions elect Bonnyrigg Rose. I didn’t have to go into the centre of Dumbarton, just jumping off at Dumbarton East and then a quick stroll down to the ground.

Anyway, the journey takes you West out of Glasgow, via Clydebank, before running along the edges of the River Clyde and into Dumbarton itself. I arrived into Dumbarton Central just before 6pm and saw out of the window as we were pulling up that players were warming up on the pitch, so it did look like we had a game.

I brief sojourn into the middle of Dumbarton wasn’t overly fruitful, it was indeed closed for the day, bar the Spoons of course, so, a full assessment for the Scottish Tourist Board wasn’t possible, but the Rock and the Castle were looking splendid from the distance!

Dumbarton Common is exactly that, a vast expanse of grass, set next to a Leisure Centre, with a long straight road running up through the middle of it, with the pitch on the right hand side, adjacent to the car park for the said sports centre building.

I arrived at the venue just before kick off and my first thoughts were that a good sized crowd was building for the game, my second thoughts were that on another day the game may well not have been played because areas of the pitch had been worked on extensively to remove the surface water. But even after all that, it was a bit dodgy in places, and it was fair to say that the linesman was going to get wet feet!

Speaking of officials, they were taking this seriously, three of them, all miked up, and with the Scottish Premier AFA ‘hierarchy’ in situ for the big game, it was clearly a match that they wanted to get played, it had too much riding on it for it to go by the wayside.

I would estimate a crowd of around 200 rocked up, and any inkling that the visitors might do the unthinkable was snuffed out just before half time when the St Patrick’s goalkeeper Brian Gallacher saved a penalty, only for the hosts to go straight up the other end and score via Ryan McColl.

Ciaran McElroy netted a second for St Patrick’s to kill the game and see the green ribbons added to the trophy, before another penalty, this time for the hosts in added time, was netted Panenka style by man of the match Joe May.

So that was it, St Patrick’s won the league, and my season was finally over, but the story doesn’t end there, not one bit….

Post meeting the following day, my journey home came to an abrupt halt at Carlisle due to a derailed freight train, and that meant an extra night’s stay in the Citadel City. With no resolution to the problem the following morning, I had to make my way across the Settle line to Leeds, which was very picturesque, but time consuming, and then upon arrival, finding that no trains were running to Sheffield due to an unexploded WW2 bomb being found near Meadowhall!

Long story short, a bit of messing about in Wakefield and eventually we got going again, I finally got off the train in Belper at 5.45pm, almost 24 hours after I initially set off on the homeward bound journey. I wasn’t a happy bunny…….

So, that does bring the season to an end, 146 games, lots of fun, lots of memories and lots of miles. Highlights absolutely include the trip to the Isle of Man with Steve, the weekends in Northern Ireland, the Hop Weekend in Devon (with Steve again), trips to Pride Park and the City Ground (with Mrs H), and of course lots of fun in the South-East with Thorpey doing the Isthmian games. I could go on, but I won’t.

However, if I have to pick one game that stands out, it would be one I watched with Dave, it was Dudley Kingswinford 5 Stourbridge Standard 5 in the West Midlands Regional League, an absolute belter of a match, and one that raised a very rare smile from Mr Garrow!

Finally, a big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my blog this season, and especially those who have gone to the effort of giving me positive feedback (you know who you are). Those who know me, also know I’m in two minds as to whether to continue blogging into 2024-25, but right now the decision isn't completely made.

Oh, one last thing though, be nice to people, it goes a long way, I promise you….

Closing In

Tintwistle Athletic  8  UOB Bolton Borough  0

Manchester Football League – Division One

Admission / Programme – No / No

It’s the end of May and I’m looking at what is almost certainly my last game of the season.

Match number 145 was a big one, because Tintwistle Athletic knew that if they beat UOB Bolton Borough (UOB stands for University of Bolton) then they would be promoted to the Premier Division of the Manchester Football League.

I’ve wanted to visit West Drive for a little while now, partly because I like to stay on top of the Premier Division, and for some time now that’s looked very much where Tintwistle are heading. I’ve also wanted to pay them a visit because as far as I can see, they are the highest ranked football club in Derbyshire I’ve never been to.

I didn’t have too many concerns about whether the game would be played, no way are Tintwistle not showing for a game they need to win to go up, and the visitors, well, just out of sheer sporting integrity, had to turn up, otherwise Old Altrinchamians (who were set to miss out if Tintwistle won), might have had something to say about it!

But what I hadn’t legislated for was the weather, and the heavy rain that hit the Greater Manchester area in the build up to the weekend. On Friday morning Tintwistle announced that due to waterlogging the game had been moved to the plastic at Glossopdale School, and I wasn’t overly interested in that as a venue, so that was it, my season was over, an abrupt end it seems, a blank Saturday loomed, the garage might get cleared after all!

But then, I’m sat in the orangery at Hatt Towers on Friday evening, watching the annoying pigeons copulating on the garden fence while enjoying a Carling (me, not the pigeons) when a scroll through Twitter presented an unexpected surprise.

It seemed the pitch at West Drive had dried out a bit quicker than expected, so the game was now being moved back to it’s original venue, I had a plan after all, I had to break the news to Mrs H that the garage would have to wait.

I can see exactly why Tintwistle did what they did, they had to get the game on, it was three points or bust, a postponement would have meant the game would probably never be played, so it would end up a point each, which was no good to them. Glossopdale School was booked as a precautionary measure, and in the end it wasn’t needed. 

Travelling to Tintwistle on a Bank Holiday Saturday from Belper is not the easiest of journeys, yes, it’s a very picturesque route, but the annoyance factor of cyclists, caravans, pedestrians, Bank Holiday drivers and clueless tourists meant it took well over an hour and a half to clear the 40 odd miles.

But when I did arrive at West Drive Football Centre, around 45 minutes before the 1pm kick off (FA Cup Final day and all that), I have to say I was impressed with what I found. The ground sits on the edges of a small area of housing, just off the main Manchester to Sheffield road, and once you’ve found the tight entrance, you drive down to a decent sized car park at the bottom of the facility.

The pitch itself is surrounded on all four sides by a modern plastic rail, while behind the goal, raised up from the pitch is the dressing room and clubroom facility. The tea bar, which is located in the clubroom, was prepped for a busy day, with plenty of beer, crisps and chocolate on offer, but after various requests for hot food some pies found there way out of the freezer (or someone’s freezer) and were put into a cooking receptacle, with an eta of half time announced.

One or two members of the ‘fraternity’ rocked up to watch it, including the man from Garstang who it seems had inadvertently gone to Glossopdale School, I’m sure GMPT buses looked after him accordingly!

It was as I wandered out for the game that I bumped into Tim, a chap from Stourbridge who I’ve known for years. We actually met up at Derby Singh Brothers the previous Saturday, and when we do meet, he often mentions an infamous post of mine which went on the Tony Kempster forum many years ago now, it was about the time I went to the toilet at the gentile surroundings of St Peters Park in Little Eaton, only to find someone had decided to defecate in the urinals! I have grown up since by the way…….

So we had a game, and to be honest, it was all over by half time, with the hosts racing into a 6-0 lead, while the visitors probably wished they were still in bed or something. They did get a little more organised in the second period and only conceded another two goals to leave the final score 8-0.

Star of the show for the hosts was a lad by the name of Sheriff Njie, who netted a hat-trick, he looked a very useful player, and it’ll be interesting to see how his career develops. The other goals came courtesy of a brace from Thomas Beswick, and solitary efforts from Nick Regan, Anthony Rodrigues and Thi-Reece Ienihan.

Celebrations at the final whistle, and just when I thought my season was over, I spotted one last game as I was browsing on Saturday night, an intriguing one as well, but as always, it’s late May, something could quite possibly go wrong…….. 

Derby Marshes

Derby Singh Brothers  2  Arnold Town  3

Central Midlands Alliance League – Premier Division South

Admission / Programme – No / No

Hackney Marshes, jumpers for goalposts, ten thousand pitches, a Bobby Moore on every one of them, taking longer to walk to the dressing rooms than the game itself, the list goes on and on.

Apparently every footballer from the 60’s through to the 90’s who ever came from anywhere close to London, played on Hackney Marshes, where every week scouts from every club in the South of England would be looking for, yes, the next Bobby Moore. 

I’ve never been to Hackney Marshes, in fact, if you gave me a map of London, I’m not actually sure I could pinpoint exactly where it is.

But what I do know though, is that Derby has it’s very own version of Hackney Marshes, called the Racecourse Ground. Situated on the very Northern edges of the city centre, with the main A61 running parallel to it, is a huge expanse, that was once, and you never would have thought it, a racecourse!

Saturday and Sunday mornings, the place would be awash with people playing, and watching football, from kids through to adults. Owned by Derby City Council, the plethora of pitches were available to hire, and over the years one or two Saturday sides have used it for a base, notably Roe Farm (who originated from nearby Chaddesden), when they had a spell in the Midlands Regional Alliance.

I’ve only ever seen one game on the Racecourse in my life, it was donkeys years ago and it was a pre-season friendly between Belper Town and Long Eaton United. From memory it was played on a pitch on the very Northern edges of the grounds, quite close to where Hampshire Road takes you from the A61 up into deepest Chad.

So what’s the history with the Racecourse Ground then?

Well, according to Wiki, it was the home of horse racing in Derby from 1848 to 1939. But it was more than just a racecourse, Derbyshire County Cricket Club set up home on the Southern tip of the ground in 1871, whereas Derby County Football Club called it home from 1884 (year of formation) to 1895. It also was the venue of an FA Cup Final Replay and an England International.

The racecourse (as a pony place) came to an end as WW2 started and at that point it was turned into a military facility. As the war drew to a close, it was decided that because horse racing attracted too many undesirables to the town, it wouldn’t re-open as a racecourse. At this point it was turned into the multitude of football pitches for which many remember it, but the old racecourse grandstand, and indeed the pub remained until their demolition in 2001.

However, following a huge revamp that cost in excess of £11 million, the Derby Racecourse Hub has been opened this year, and is run by Leisure United. Comprising of four artificial pitches, and a very impressive building that houses the dressing rooms, a café and meeting rooms, it’s certainly a huge boost to the City to have such an impressive, and indeed readily available, football facility.

So it’s Saturday morning, we’re on the third Saturday of May and the season is very much at the dying embers stage. I’m staying local, and my initial thoughts, subject to games being called off due to the new PC term of ‘Player Welfare’, but more commonly known as ‘Can’t Be @rsed’, was to watch something in the Central Midlands Alliance League.

I’m pondering over a few choices but Derby Singh Brothers v Arnold Town up at Rolls Royce was looking favourite, but then as I was perusing the Tweets of Arnold, I discovered that the game was indeed being played at the Racecourse, which has been rumoured recently to be where DSB are planning to play next season.

Within moments of seeing this and deciding it was going to be my choice of the afternoon, my mate Dave called and told me he had seen they very same Tweet and was making his way over from Staffordshire for the game.

It was a lovely sunny day, and, having skirted round the edges of the Pentagon Island and turned down towards the racecourse entrance, it was relieving to see that the car park at the facility was indeed huge, and spaces plentiful. Not one to knock my home City and all that, but street parking in the vicinity, while available, would not be the preferred choice!

Derbyshire were at home to Northamptonshire at the County Ground, but no one watches that, and those that do are probably not allowed to drive anymore, so any fears that the car park would be rammed were indeed unfounded!

It is truly a fabulous facility, and once Dave had arrived we had a wander through the ‘turnstiles’, which in effect is the electronic barrier, and made our way to Pitch 4, where both sides were preparing for the game. Singh Brothers chose not to take admission, but then again taking it wouldn’t have been that easy given the geography, however a headcount of 18 (about half from Arnold – and what a sad demise that has been) rocked up to watch seventh placed DSB take on a side who have struggled throughout the campaign.

The hosts took a first half lead but by half time a goal from Arnold saw parity on the park, the game at this stage had been an even affair with few chances. Arnold then took the lead through a second half penalty, only for DSB to equalise just after the hour mark. The three points did end up going to Nottinghamshire, when a late goal saw the final score 3-2 to the visitors.

So that was the Racecourse, a somewhat unexpected visit, but a welcome one all the same. If Derby Singh Brothers do decide to make it home, and intend to push to get to Step 6, as has been suggested, then they could potentially do something with it to make it work, but they would need the co-operation of the parties the run the centre.

As for Hackney Marshes, I won’t be going anywhere near them, not any time soon!

Spice

Houghton Main  0  Swinton Athletic  2

Sheffield & Hallamshire County Senior League – Premier Division

Admission / Programme – No / No

What I like about the notional Step 7 of non-league football is the variety.

What I mean by that, is depending on the standards set by the respective league a club plays in, you can rock up each week at a public park and change over the road in a pub, or, you can have a shiny stadium with all the bells and whistles that would be fitting of a much higher level.

In simple terms, it’s a level of football where what you do on the pitch is all that really matters. Of course, if you want to progress up to Step 6 and the National League System then you have requirements to meet off the field (or you strategically agree a ground share!), and that’s fine, but otherwise, simply just play.

One league that epitomises all that is good about Step 7 (it’s not called that any more, Regional Feeder League’s is the new term) is the Sheffield & Hallamshire County Senior League. Yes, some of the venues in the top flight are quite basic, and no one has an issue with that, but you also have some absolute belters.

I wrote recently about Denaby Main, but the list can go on, Dodworth Miners Welfare, Oughtibridge War Memorial, Swinton Athletic, Hemsworth Miners Welfare, North Gawber Colliery, all real gems, but one of my absolute favourites, one I like to try and get to midweek at the end of most seasons, is Houghton Main.

Houghton Main play in the village of Great Houghton, which is located almost equidistant between Barnsley and Doncaster, just off the Dearne Valley Parkway that links the M1 with the A1. It’s in an area rich with clubs, with Dearne & District, Wombwell Town, Wombwell Main and indeed the variants that play out of South Elmsall, all within spitting distance.

The ground itself lies on Middlecliff Lane, and you enter into a car park at the rear of the clubhouse and dressing rooms. The clubhouse is a smart and modern venue, and while not a RAW myself, it does seem to attract the type based on it’s offerings, and again, as you often find at venues not dissimilar to Houghton Main’s, it not only attracts those who are there for the sport, but also the locals who just want a drink.

Directly outside the building is the cricket field, but then a short walk away down at the far end of the complex is the football pitch. With a post and rail barrier on three sides and an absolute carpet of a pitch, the centrepiece is the traditional miners welfare style stand on the half way, complete with orange and black seats, spelling out the letters HMFC. It’s well looked after and colourful, and one that is absolutely synonymous with South and West Yorkshire.

At first glance you would look at the ground and think it’s a Step 6 venue in waiting, but in reality it’s probably not even close. It would need floodlights, hard standing, the dressing rooms are probably too far from the pitch, where could you take a gate? And that’s just from my limited knowledge, without getting the tape measure out in the dressing rooms! But you know what, it really doesn’t matter, I’m sure Houghton Main are more than happy where they are, doing what they are doing, as I suspect are the bulk of the clubs in the County Senior League. Long may that be the stance for this wonderful league.

We had a game though, both sides are struggling somewhat this season and in Houghton’s case, relegation is a real possibility. Things didn’t improve on the night with Swinton Athletic, one of the traditional powerhouses, coming away with a 2-0 victory. It was a good game, but the visitors just had the edge on the night.

If Houghton Main do go down, it’s not the end of the World, they can and probably will bounce back quite quickly. 

Middlecliff Lane though, a jewel in the former coalfields, a wonderful place to be on an end of season midweek night, with the sun going down and a pint in your hand. The pits may have gone, but the legacy of the sports fields lives on.

Step 7 football, epitomised by Houghton Main FC, where variety is very much the spice.