Brian, Sue & Mottram Moor

Hindsford  5  Prestwich Heys Reserves  1

Manchester Football League – Premier Division

I’ll be honest, I don’t really like people very much.

I can’t really define who or what caused my misanthropic tendencies to come to the fore, but certainly since I got into my forties, my tolerance of the human race in general is at a pretty low point, and I can’t see it getting any better!

I’m not an angry person, nor am I a ranter or a raver, in fact I think I’m a pretty balanced individual, those close to me would probably agree with that. However, I know what I like, and I know what I don’t like, and sadly, a large proportion of society fits into the latter category.

I do 25,000 miles a year in my car, so I see a lot of things out there on the public highway, from the bizarre to the ridiculous, from the funny to the downright stupid, but I have one absolute pet hate, drivers cutting in at the last minute when they need to change lanes or at road works.

These individuals are basically cheats, put on the earth to irritate the living hell out of us obedient and courteous individuals who follow the moral code of road manners. If I was a North Korean despot for example who wanted to ‘lose’ a large proportion of my population for some political and genetic purposes, I would go straight to the nearest motorway roadworks and unleash the contents of an AK47 on anyone who tried to cut in into a queue of traffic at the last minute, and then, I would hunt down the parents of the said offenders and do the same as ultimately they should be held responsible too!

Myself and my mate Steve have a proud record at Mottram Moor, the notorious bottleneck that is effectively the gateway to Manchester from North Derbyshire and South Yorkshire. Mottram Moor is a hotspot for such road cheats, because typically all traffic into Manchester has to get into the left hand lane, while the right hand line services Stalybridge and Ashton Under Lyne.

The trouble is, the cheats will typically get into the right hand lane, get right up to the traffic lights and then try to cut in, which is not only hugely annoying for us in the queue, it also really winds up the genuine right turners who are blocked in.

So, what is our proud record? In our combined driving careers, never once have we let a car push in on Mottram Moor, we simply cannot let it happen, but we do tease from time to time, by leaving a tempting gap but then at the last minute shooting forward so as to block it off. It’s fun, but at the same time you do wish only pain and suffering on those attempting such a grievous outrage.

It works a bit like this, in your door mirror you will see trundling up on the right hand side a car, maybe a Lexus or a Jag, or maybe even an ageing top range BMW or Merc. It will be driven by a couple in their sixties (Brian and Sue), he will be dressed in a Pringle sweater and will be slightly obese, she will be a cross between Hyacinth Bucket and Queen Victoria. He sold the engineering business he built from scratch after leaving school with ‘nowt’, and now they are living a ‘happy’ retirement in Derbyshire after previously living in the suburbs of Manchester. She never worked, she did kids and kitchens, but both of them think they are pretty special.

They are on their way to Old Trafford, you see he always wanted to have a box but he couldn’t afford one, but his mate could, so they are reliant on the kindness of others to take their leather padded seats on matchday. She’s dreading it, it’s always the same, he drinks too much, starts to get lecherous with the waitresses and then starts to put her down in front of their friends. Then he insists on driving home despite having drunk large quantities of Chateauneuf du Pape. The day will end with an argument, every day does, but they have the house and they have the lifestyle, they both have too much to lose.

Complete With Vans - The Players Car Park

Despite Mr’s ‘love’ of football, he’s never been to a Manchester League game before, and in all honesty he never will. His only knowledge of the league comes down to the fact that some of the lads on the shop floor used to ask to finish early some nights to make the games, but otherwise as far as he was concerned it was pub football.

Brian and Sue are in a rush, that’s why they are in the wrong lane trying to push in, but when I give them the hard stare, neither of them will look me in the eye. Mrs is firmly focussed ahead, muttering something while adjusting her leather gloves, Mr, despite the tailback behind him, is too stubborn to admit he’s in the wrong, he has the skin of a rhino, he didn’t get where he is today by doing as he’s told and obeying the rules.

I’m not in a rush, I’m off to watch a game of football, proper football, where tea comes in mugs and beer comes in cans. Where you don’t need a car park pass, and the players cars are vans.

The Overspill Car Park - Not A Place For Those In A Rush

The kick off is 6.35, not because of TV, because the right back is stuck in traffic and both sides agree to cut half time down by a few minutes to stop the light becoming an issue.

This is proper football, this is the wonderful league that is the Manchester Football League, and over the past few months I have grown to simply love it. Tonight I venture up Mottram Moor and eventually down the East Lancs Road to Tyldesley to watch Hindsford play Prestwich Heys Reserves. 

To be truthful, there is nowhere else I would rather be.

The one way system in the centre of the Tyldesley brings you nicely onto the road that ultimately becomes a dead end, and that is the signal to say you have arrived at the home of Hindsford AFC. A sloping pitch, fully railed off, with dressing rooms and a clubhouse that is currently going through a big refurbishment programme are the key features of the ground, along with a small floodlit football court with an artificial surface.

"Where Are The Prawn Sandwiches Brian?"

Hindsford took the lead early in the game from a goal that looked outrageously offside, but the very young liner failed to spot it. A second goal followed but then Heys got back into the game and halved the deficit.

Hindsford did well at that point to take the sting out of the game and ultimately their patient and composed approach lead to a third goal that effectively settled their nerves and indeed the game itself. 

Two more goals followed as a rampant and impressive looking home side went on to record a 5-1 victory.

The crowd were appreciative of the effort and the entertainment on show, these were proper football people, watching proper footballers, doing it for the love of the game. I lose my misanthropic tendencies when I’m around these people, my kind of people, I feel at home.

Brian and Sue would not have felt at home, besides, they would never have got out early to beat the traffic, the car park was blocked. Welcome to our reality.

So, next time you are driving up Mottram Moor, keep an eye out for Brian and Sue, and no matter what you do, don’t ever let them in, otherwise it will be tantamount to letting the prawn sandwich brigade take over the game we know and love.

The Manchester Football League – Formed long before 1992.  

Not Dreams - Reality

A Tale Of Two City's

Coventry United  3  Worcester City  0

Midland Football League – Premier Division

Coventry United versus Worcester City – it was the unimaginable fixture four years ago.

Let’s start with Worcester City, a huge name in non-league football, founder members of the Alliance Premier League which of course was the forerunner to the Conference and more recently the National League.

They’ve found times hard over recent years due to the sale of their iconic St George’s Lane ground, and plans to have a new stadium built in the City seemingly continue to hit brick walls.

Groundshare agreements at Kidderminster Harriers and latterly Bromsgrove Rovers have hit the club financially and at the end of last season it was something of a shock for outsiders looking in when the National League North outfit chose to drop down three divisions to Step 5. The future is somewhat uncertain, the only viable solution to see the club to return to anything like it’s former glories is via a return to Worcester, but that doesn’t look like happening any time soon.

Impressive!

Coventry United is a very different matter, but in a roundabout way it is also connected to the loss of a ground.

The Coventry City saga is well documented, and despite the fact they have plummeted from Premier League to League Two in the era since football was invented (1992), the bigger story has surrounded the clubs ownership and the Ricoh Arena stadium.

To cut a long story short, due to a lease row with the stadium owners over the Ricoh Arena, coupled with the highly questionable ownership of the football club by the controversial SISU, City were forced to spend a season playing home games at Northampton Town. They did eventually return to the Ricoh but the lease ends in 2018. The future remains very uncertain.

Cleary the shenanigans regarding the stadium and the ownership stirred emotions to such an extent that a group of disaffected supporters made the decision to 2013 to form Coventry United Football Club. This was not an unusual move, think AFC Wimbledon and FC United of Manchester, there were certain parallels.

The Railway End - Complete With Corporate Bits

The club took on the colours red and green which form part of the City’s civic colours, and at that point located themselves at the Alan Higgs Centre to the East of the City Centre. I went to one of their early games against Paget Rangers as they took up a position in the bottom division of the Midland Combination. Three successive promotions followed and they now find themselves in the top flight of the renamed Midland Football League.

History was made at the start of the season when the club announced that they were to play home fixture at Butts Park Arena, the home of Coventry Rugby Club. The strapline of course to this was that since the Sky Blues left Highfield Road, no club has played in confines of the City Centre, but now senior football was returning!

There is also an irony, Butts Park Arena is strongly mooted to be a possible location for Coventry City once the lease on the Ricoh expire in 2018. If that is to be the case, they’ve got to get a shift on, otherwise another sorry chapter could well be about to commence.

Something Drink Related I'm Sure

That brings me nicely onto the ground. Located very near to the City Centre, on the West side, it’s almost the identical distance Highfield Road was from the centre on the East side. You enter into a large car park, and what’s strikes you is the size of the main stand.

Seating three thousand, it dominates one side of the ground, and within it are bars, function rooms, private boxes and of course some dressing rooms. The rest of the ground is open, but behind the South goal and on the West side are what appear to be more corporate facilities. They like a bit of corporate in the Rugby World!

It’s a very impressive venue and in my opinion, would see them into the Conference North should progress take them to that point.

So what’s the experience like as a neutral visiting for the first time?

Myself and my Dad made the journey and took in a very pleasant lunch less than half a mile away, and upon arriving it’s slightly different to your typical non-league experience in that you have to buy your match ticket from a booth before presenting it at the turnstiles. No barrier divides the stand from the pitch so you effectively walk along pitch side, unless of course you choose to duck down one of the tunnels to the bar area.

Mr Blue Sky - Or Should It Be Sky Blue?

The bar is large and impressive, split into two parts, on primarily for food, the other for drink, but it does very much have the feel of a rugby club with lots of memorabilia and regalia decorating the walls.

It was a roasting hot day, many fans were clad in the incredibly low priced club shirts and leisurewear, while children and families are clearly a big part of what United are about. Various children accompanied the players onto the pitch was a nice touch.

I’ve been to matches at Rugby grounds before, notably Leigh Sports Village and Craven Park in Hull, and what was noticeable on both occasions was the somewhat officious, bordering on jobsworth attitude of the stewards, but I was pleased to see none of that today, in fact I counted a handful of stewards at the most.

Not only was this a historic day whereby United were playing their first ever League game at the new home, it was also historic in that the attendance of 623 was the highest the club have had since they were formed. Worcester bought something like 50-70 with them to boost the numbers, but even so, it’s a very impressive turnout.

The first half was somewhat tepid, after an even start, Coventry took the initiative but couldn't find a way past the visiting goalkeeper. A couple of ‘handbags’ moments at the end of the half livened things up a little, but it was goals the game needed.

Those goals came in the second period, two quick fire efforts from United totally knocked the stuffing out of a City side that seemed somewhat lacking in ideas. City had the experienced Mark Danks in attack but he cut a frustrated figure at times as his thought process was not being mirrored by his less experienced colleagues.

Good Godiva - A Drinks Break Is Needed

A third United goal arrived, and that was effectively game over. Coventry maintain their 100% record, City lose their's. The gulf between the two sides was pretty wide in the end, and on this form you would have to back United to be mounting a very strong title challenge. In fact, I’ll stick my neck out and say if anyone finishes above them, then they will probably be champions.

It was a tale of two City’s, one’s demise and subsequent troubles had led to the creation of something that is starting to look quite special, whereas the other is desperately looking for some light at the end of the tunnel.

So, not only was this fixture unimaginable four years ago, it was the events that actually led to it taking place that would have been unthinkable for those supporters who have suffered. Remember as well, back in 2014 Worcester City made a trip to the Ricoh Arena and beat Coventry City 2-1 in the FA Cup, how times change!

It's not finished yet though, this story still has plenty of mileage left in it, and I wouldn't want to predict what the outcomes may be......

If You Build It - They Will Come

Redditch Borough  1  Montpellier  0

Les James Challenge Cup

My earliest childhood memory of television was that we had a choice of three channels, BBC1, BBC2 and ITV.

Yes kids, that’s right, no 24/7 cartoons or any of this American garbage, and by the way, when we were kids, our TV window was basically an hour after school finished, unless it was the holidays and we got “Why Don’t You” as an added treat.

Before you even think about asking how small the remote control must have been, don’t even go there……

ITV though, that was a bit special in the sense it was regionalised, but us East Midlanders had a raw deal with it. You see, until they built a Central TV studio in Nottingham, all of our broadcasts came from Birmingham, which was ok until it came to the news and sport whereby anything East of Coventry didn’t actually happen.

The highlight though, looking back, was the adverts. I can remember to this day Don Amott, the King of Caravans – “The price is right and the choice is yours”, then we had Bristol Street Motors, but I can also remember an advert drawing us to spend our weekends at the new Kingfisher Shopping Centre in Redditch.

Oh yes, so us Derby / Nottingham / Leicester mob are going to look at that and think that we need to forget our plush city centre’s and trek all the way South of Birmingham, and remember we didn’t have an M42 in those days.  

All of that changed when the shiny new premises on Lenton Lane were opened and we could adjust our TV aerials accordingly, the West Midlands was no more, we had our own People’s Republic and suddenly we heard of places like Spalding, Ollerton and Bingham. Our World was a very different place.

Fast forward to 2013, I was placed on a management training programme which meant I had to spend several nights over a nine month period in a hotel, in Redditch. The Holiday Inn Express was to be my home, and that meant a chance to explore. The highlight came one evening when we decided to have a wander to a pub at the end of the road, only to find it was Exotic Pets Night. We walked in to find a tarantula scurrying across the pool table and a bloke stood with an owl on his shoulder. One drink was all we had.

Assessment day came, I had to drive to Redditch, pitch up at the venue at my allocated time, and in the space of 30 minutes I had to demonstrate a coaching session and then stand up and present to a judging panel. It was nerve wracking stuff, but I had a problem, my back had gone, and just walking up the hill from the car park was a real struggle. I spotted the Kingfisher Centre to my right, so in I went to find a seat and get a coffee. Eventually I got to the assessment centre, dug as deep as I’ve ever dug before and put on a show, while in quite some pain.

It seemed to go well, until I got home and it took Mrs Hatt some 45 minutes to get me out of the car. I was done for and could barely move for a couple of days, but one things cheered me up, I got the call from my boss to say I’d got a Distinction!

So, football in Redditch.

Fruits Of Their Labours

Redditch United were founder members of the Alliance Premier League in 1979 (Conference / National League as now is). It didn’t last long, they were relegated at the end of the season, and since then they have bumbled along as a Southern League side up until a period around seven years ago when they managed to get into the Conference North. Again, relegation came and it’s been Southern League since. I’ve been a couple of time, memorably once with Belper Town in the FA Cup when a slight altercation with some local youths when our last minute winner went in meant a Police van was summoned to deal with the situation!

Redditch Borough on the other hand came to my attention a couple of years back when they found themselves in the Midland Combination, playing at the Valley Stadium home of United. They made no secret of the fact that they had joined forces and were going to be a Reserve / Development side of United, and what they also bought to the party was a huge junior set up. But, at the start of this season they announced they were going to be playing at the Mettis Sports & Social Club in the town, it appeared relations with United had soured, and soured quite badly. From speaking to a Borough official, United would have happily seen them wiped from the map.

Dressing Rooms

But not deterred, Borough have seized the opportunity, and what is United’s loss (revenue / bar takings etc) is definitely to the benefit of not just the football club but also the Sports & Social Club.

The facilities have been upgraded, dugouts, railings, hard standing, some cover, a portable tea bar and refurbished dressing rooms has turned what was effectively a piece of grass into a proper football ground. They have done a superb job.

What has also happened is the clubs junior element have focused their attentions on the new facilities, and being very much a club as opposed to a team, they have breathed life into the Social Club in the sense that takings are up massively. They also have something slightly unique in the sense that many of the juniors and the parents come along to support the first team. The opening game last week drew a crowd of 232, to put that into context, United’s opening league game at home to Dunstable Town drew 212.

It very much looks to be a case of ‘If you build it – they will come’, and today, with neighbours Montpellier in town they were looking forward to another positive day at the Mettis. I arrived quite early after navigating the M42 traffic issues, and found the ground quite easily, just off the Bromsgrove Road and only a stones throw from United’s home.

Redditch Vista

It’s a pretty big complex, designed to support the workers from nearby Mettis Aerospace which is a huge employer in the Enfield area of town. Football is high on the agenda, but so is tennis and bowls it appears. The clubhouse is a big affair, while the football pitch used by Borough is set at the far end of the complex.

No admission charge was taken, but donations were made, and the tea bar was doing a roaring trade on a beautiful Summers day. I would estimate another crowd in three figures had come along, although not quite at the levels of the previous week.

The first half saw Montpellier start strongly but gradually Borough came back into the game. Very little came in the way of goalscoring chances, and once into the second half it was the visitors again who had the edge in the early stages. But it was to be the hosts who broke the deadlock in the 59^th minute with a neat lob over the goalkeeper, and that was the cue for some more Montpellier pressure.

The side coached by ex Redditch United and Tamworth boss Paul Hendrie missed a couple of late chances to take the tie into extra time, and it was to be Borough that progress to the next round.

This is a club on the up, they have momentum and they have willing volunteers and a membership base to really push on. It’ll be interesting to see where they get to.

I swerved a visit to the Kingfisher Centre on my way home, I did think about looking at some caravans up at Don Amott’s place though. He wouldn’t have been around though, he’s a big non-league fan these days, Mickleover Sports v Nantwich Town is where you would have found him, he’s now the Chairman at Sports.

He liked it so much, he bought the club…..now that reminds me of another advert from the Seventies!

They Will Come!

Manchester Plastic

East Manchester  1  Dukinfield Town  0

Manchester League – Premier Division

The Wright Robinson College in Abbey Hey is regarded by many as something of a football safety net.

To put a little bit of context into that statement, essentially once the winter months are upon us and pitches start to suffer, with the college having a 4G playing surface, it can be relied on for a game. The Manchester League is very forward thinking though, it has a policy of allowing it’s clubs to switch games at short notice to such surfaces to avoid postponements. They also have very good social media and web coverage so it’s dead easy to find out about changes.

Night Fall Over Abbey Hey

The college is the official home of East Manchester Football Club, which by definition means if the weather strikes, you have a 50% chance of them having a home game, but not only that, other clubs have been known to take advantage of it, so more often than not, someone will be at home on any said day.

I never thought I would say this, but if the weather is really bad, your safest bet for a game of football is typically Manchester!

It hadn’t been the original plan as I was ‘saving’ it for a rainy day, but my game of choice at Old Altrinchamians got moved to the previous night, so I was left with no other option to be honest. If the choice is a plastic pitch or no game at all, then plastic it is.

Dukinfield Warm Up

Set in the heart of the East of Manchester, I approached the college via a swift GBG accredited Real Lager (Carling IPA) in the Fairfield on Ashton Road. The Abbey Hey estate is a mixture of the old and the new, terraced houses and then new builds, but when it comes to new builds the relatively modern Wright Robinson complex is a huge piece of work. Located on the edge of the estate, the first thing that strikes you is the size if the car park, simply huge, either they have a hell of a lot of teachers or they drive at a very young age in these parts (less said the better!)

The college has a Sports Centre attached to it and behind this are numerous pitches, but the game tonight was being played at the very far end on a floodlit pitch. With an 8pm kick off, which presumably was down to pitch availability, then place had quietened down by the time we got going, but an hour prior it was a pretty busy place with lots of junior football taking place.

It was cage football, but spectators had access inside the cage, not only that though, you could access all the way round the perimeter which is quite unusual.

It was a local derby, it was the pride of East Manchester, with visiting Dukinfield from just down the road. A reasonable crowd had pitched up, split between both sides, plus it looked to have attracted the attention of a couple league officials.

It was a tight game, goalless at half time and chances at a premium. It was also played in a good spirit, but it was competitive at the same time. To be honest as the second half wore on it did look as though it may well finish goalless, but the hosts found space, an attacker raced into the box, which prompted the visiting keeper to fly from his line at pace.

Twilight

A collision was inevitable but the big question was who would get to the ball first. The attacker got a toe to it before impact took place, and quite an impact it was, he hit the deck!

The referee had no choice, no one was in a position to argue, the yellow card was inevitable, and the ball was on the spot. The resultant penalty went straight down the middle and the net bulged.

The visitors had the bulk of the possession in the final stages of the game, but never really looked like breaching a well organised and determined defensive line. It had not been the most enthralling game you would see, but it was engaging all the same. The bragging rights are with East Manchester.

The Abbey Hey estate looks as though it comes to life at night, police cars were patrolling in the vicinity but after weaving my way through the streets I was soon on the Hyde Road, down the M67 and into Derbyshire, it felt like a World away.

But, I suspect come the winter months, it will be well trodden path again, and I, like many, will be thankful for that.

Dugouts Etc

  

  

A Good Heart

Rochdale Sacred Heart  7  Walshaw Sports  2

Manchester League – Premier Division

Readers of my blog may well recall that I made an attempt to visit Rochdale Sacred Heart for a game during the back end of last season, but I was ultimately thwarted as the opposition called the game off at short notice due to not being able to raise a side.

I had to make a swift detour that night to Uppermill, which in itself wasn’t a bad move as it gave me chance to visit one of the most scenic grounds in the Manchester League, located of course in Yorkshire!

Sacred Heart to their credit sent me an apology for the postponement, albeit not their fault, and invited me to return to them at some point, and when someone does that I make sure that I make an effort to act upon the offer.

What's Not To Like?

It didn’t turn out too badly last season for the club from Rochdale, they went on to win the league ahead of heavily fancied Wythenshawe Amateurs, and this on the back of a fourth placed finish the previous season.

They didn’t apply for a promotion to Step 6, but with an expected increase in the number of promoted clubs to that level at the end of the season, especially in this part of the World due to the expansion of the North West Counties League, is a move upwards on the cards?

Looking Towards Rochdale

Sacred Heart have a really nice ground, located on the Eastern edge of town in the district of Belfield, you travel down a narrow lane, cross over the railway line and the ground is tucked away on the right, between the said railway line and a canal. A stone construction two story club house greets you at the bottom of the car park, and once inside, the bar is a really smart affair, and not only that it has a balcony from which the game can be viewed.

I chose to watch the closing stages of the Astana v Celtic Champions League Qualifier from the bar while enjoying a pint of God’s finest German lager, but one thing that did attract my attention was the fact they had an area set aside for sponsors, and a meal was being prepared for them. This is Step 7, how bloody good, and indeed forward thinking is that?

The majority of the ground is railed, some metal, some wooden, while large parts of it are also kitted out with hard standing. No cover is in place and no floodlights are located, but the ground is fully enclosed, to which I would go as far as to say that it can’t be that far away from being capable of hosting Step 6 football.

Lots Of Advertising - The Way Forward

Do they want it? I genuinely don’t know, but from my visits to this particular league, they are equipped as any to make the transition. Yes, Avro have landed themselves a ready made Step 6 facility in Oldham, while Wythenshawe Amateurs once at their new ground have ambitions to progress, as have Manchester Gregorians if they can find the right location to make the move, but Sacred Heart look in great shape to me.

The game itself didn’t get off to the best of starts, Bury based Walshaw took the lead with a goal that can only be described as a ‘Worldie’ from the best part of twenty five yards, but by half time the tone was set and the hosts went in with a 4-1 lead.

The second half was pretty much one way traffic and in the end a couple of very neat finishes found the net on the way to a 7-2 victory for the reigning champions. Can they go on and win it again? Certainly, but I suspect some of the aforementioned teams will be wanting to have a big say in matters.

Would I like them to win it and get promoted? Yes, I would, because some clubs deserve success and progression for so many reasons, Rochdale Sacred Heart are one of them. 

Forgot To Mention The Pitch - Very Good!

French Fries & The Flamingo

Scarborough Athletic  1  Marske United  1

F.A. Challenge Cup – Preliminary Round

I only went to the ‘Theatre of Chips’ once, it was a freezing cold January afternoon in 2006, the Seadogs were playing host to Hereford United, and the irony of course is that over the course of the next few seasons both clubs in their original guises had gone by the wayside.

I recall my trip to Seamer Road well, I arrived early and went in search of a pub, but not knowing the area I thought the sensible thing to do was ask a steward for some directions…

The semmingly helpful chap said “Walk up that road mate for about a quarter of a mile, cross some traffic lights and it’s on the left hand side.”

“Thanks mate” was my response

“Tell them we sent you won’t you?” said the steward, with a touch of irony in his voice

I should have known by that last comment that it was a wind up, I did find the pub, but it was boarded up, and looked to have been for some time. 

The steward had vanished by the time I made my way back to the ground, I was looking forward to thanking him for his helpfulness, so I did what you do when you go to Scarborough, I got some chips instead!

Season Tickets Only

I loved the Seamer Road ground, two sides of it straight out of the Seventies, while behind both goals were modern stands courtesy of the needs of the Football League. I stood on the old terrace opposite the main stand and watched Hereford come away with a 1-0 victory. Not before I’d managed a pint in the old clubhouse though, I wasn’t going to allow a steward who thinks he’s a comedian to put me off!

The story since is well documented, and now we are finally in a position whereby after spending many years as a newly formed club playing home games at Bridlington Town, Scarborough Athletic have finally moved back to the town, and somewhat ironically, almost right opposite the Lidl that is built on the site of the old Seamer Road.

The crowds have come flooding back, so much so, the clubs first two home league games have been made all ticket, but with an F.A. Cup tie sandwiched in between, it seemed a perfect opportunity for a weekend away.

The View From The Cheap Seats

With the extended Hatt family in tow having been in Scarborough since Friday tea time, we took the lazy route to the ground, a taxi from the railway station post Spoons lunch, but to be honest if it had been just me I would have walked it. Car parking is at a premium so the club do encourage alternative means of getting to the stadium.

The Flamingo Land Stadium is very different to the Theatre of Chips (it was once called the McCain Stadium!), in fact it’s more Sweet Potato French Fries than Henry Nuttall deep fat fryer seagull bait.

The pre-sponsored name is the Scarborough Sports Village, and it’s pretty impressive, with the stadium sitting adjacent to the modern leisure centre. You can access the stadium from the back of the main stand but once through the foyer and into the clubhouse, the pitch sits below, in fact significantly below street level, with the ground being built into a valley. The clubhouse is a large affair but seats are at a premium, however the queueing and ordering system for the bar is both slick and quick.

The Terrace

The stand is smart, but if you haven’t got a season ticket you ain’t getting in it. Not to worry though, there is plenty of standing room around the ground, but the only cover is behind the goal, and this is terraced, which given the size of the crowds they've been getting, it's pretty much essential.

One criticism would be that the pitch side barrier is quite high, and given the fact the bulk of the perimeter is also covered in advertising hoardings, young Master Hatt even at the age of nine was struggling to see over the top. We solved that problem by standing him on the boot scraping contraption that sits by the gates that allow access to the pitch.

The pitch was a 3G, or was it a 4G, I’m not sure what the difference is these days, but anyway, it’s an all-weather, multi use, lots of painted lines and crumbs of rubber facility, which to be fair, played well as the modern versions tend to do.

Marske had bought a coachload of fans, and they’d clearly enjoyed their morning / lunchtime in Scarborough, it’s not actually that far, and is probably home from home with Marske actually being called Markse-by-the-Sea.  But a day out in Scarborough, what’s not to like, clearly the pubs were a popular attraction?

Into The Valley Of Flamingo's

Both goals came in the first half, both from penalties, with Scarborough taking the lead and Marske then equalising. Both sides hit the woodwork once during the course of the game, the hosts with a first half header and the visitors with a free kick in the second period. Otherwise a draw was probably the fair outcome, and this demonstrates the strength of the Northern League that they weren’t overawed by the large and noisy crowd of 885, playing against one of the promotion favourites from the Evo-Stik League.

Getting away at the end was easy, my mate Dave gave us a lift back to town, it was time for some chips, proper ones that seagulls like, not these fancy new ones that are orange. We decided to take a walk onto the sea front and to try and find a suitable pub / eaterie, this time we used our own judgement and a little help from Trip Advisor. 

I’d learnt from experience not to ask someone for advice or directions in Scarborough!

The Chip Shop End (I Made That Up......)

A Sort Of Homecoming

St Helens Town  0  Abbey Hulton United  0 (abandoned 95 minutes)

North West Counties League – First Division

I really don’t know where to start with this one?

Probably right at the end, because that was when without doubt the most bizarre episode I have ever seen at a football game took place.

Picture the scene (no pun intended for those that already know the story). It’s the 95^th minute of a game that was 0-0, neither side could hit a cows arse with banjo, good chances came and went but no one seemed capable of putting the ball in the net. Suddenly the referee awards a penalty to the visitors, for what is largely irrelevant. No one really argues, and the ball is on the spot.

Seats

The tension around Ruskin Drive is palpable, it had been one of those nights, not least for one particular gentleman in the crowd who refuses to acknowledge a 0-0 draw, and deems it necessary to revisit the venue at a later stage.

The Abbey Hulton United centre forward walks backwards to commence his run up and just as he turns, we have darkness, the floodlights are out, and they are definitely not coming back on again.

The referee wanders over to some St Helens officials, it seems the lights are on a timer that turns them off automatically at 10pm, and it can’t be overridden. The game is abandoned, or is it?

A Plethora Of Goals

Clearly the away side are fuming, and our gentleman who refuses to accept a 0-0 draw is far from happy either. Of course we than have some of the other travellers who refuse to acknowledge an abandoned game, irrespective of what point in the proceedings it happens. That of course is another story, but clearly immense dissatisfaction all around.

Let’s also not forget that St Helens Town are less than pleased either, their first game back in the town was going to end up talked about for all of the wrong reasons.

You are perhaps now wondering what we were doing playing football at 10pm. This then takes us back to the beginning of a very odd evening.

As I was travelling along the Woodhead Pass I made a call to my mate Dave who was also going to the game. He had found out that the M6 Northbound had been closed at Thelwall, and as a result it was traffic mayhem in South Cheshire. Abbey Hulton would ordinarily be travelling this very route, so at that stage we did begin to wonder whether the game would actually take place because the road was not scheduled to re-open until at least 10pm. Had they set off early enough, and did they have an alternative route?

The Far Side - Out Of Bounds

They did have an alternative route, and they arrived just after 7.30pm, and given the fact that we have a 10pm lights curfew, the referee decided in his wisdom to allow the game to kick off at 8.10pm. Not only that, he kept them waiting in the tunnel for a good five minutes before entering the pitch, they then took a full 15 minutes half time, and he chose to add on at least five minutes at the end! So I guess he really didn’t help matters in that sense.

I arrived at the eagerly awaited Ruskin Drive Sports Ground around 6.30pm. When I say eagerly awaited, they have waited seven years as a club to get back into the town. When I first saw them play they shared the huge Knowsley Road stadium that belonged to St Helens Rugby League, and without getting into too much detail about the politics, they were based their because they had sold the Hoghton Road ground that they played at and the plan was to share the new Langtree Park that the rugby club were having built. This did not materialise, some would say they were shafted?

It was also eagerly awaited because many thought it would be open for business at the start of last season, but it wasn’t deemed suitable for Step 6 football because the dressing rooms were too far from the pitch. This has now been addressed and tonight was to be the first game.

It wasn’t without drama though, they only got the grading to play the previous Saturday and even then it was a temporary grading to allow just the one game to take place. Further work is required before future games can happen.

So what’s it like? Big car park, really nice bar that’s shared with the cricket club, and all part of a very big complex that looks to combine three sports (Rugby League being the third). The pitch used by Town is a typical 3G cage. You can see easily from outside, so arguably it isn’t enclosed, and you can only view from three sides once inside the cage. A small stand sits on the half way line but it is quite a low viewing position.

I didn’t think it was quite ready yet, staff were moving building material from inside the cage before the game started, while it appeared the council had failed to move the small sized goals from the pitch. The toilets were located a good walk away in the clubhouse, while no hot food was available. 

The hospitality area was effectively a wooden summer house, and while the wooden clad dressing room building looked smart, I couldn’t comment on the interior.

More Goals

Excellent programme though, and the club officials all very friendly, but you did wonder just how satisfied the club were at the outcome of the seven year long saga? Is this really the venue that they wanted and indeed saw as the future of the club? I’m not so sure, and to be honest I have sympathy with the club because much of what I’ve talked about this evening is not actually the fault of St Helens Town Football Club.

The crowd was given out as 178, which probably would have been more had it not been for the M6 issues, and they probably would have hoped for a significantly better spectacle on the field, but that was not to be.

Many questions will indeed be asked about tonight, not least the burning question about the game itself. Was it actually abandoned or did the referee blow for full time and the result stands? I find it inconceivable that the result will stand, surely under the circumstances the game must be replayed, but, had the ball gone out for a thrown in and the lights went out in the 95^th minute, you could argue that could be approached in a slightly different way?

What a night though, you couldn’t have written the script, a homecoming and a half, one that will be talked about for a very long time.   

From Out Of The Light Came Darkness

August 16th 1980

AFC Alsager  3  Goldenhill Wanderers  2

Staffordshire County Senior League – Division Two

August 16^th is a date that has stuck in my head since I was a seven year old child.

It would be the Summer of 1980, we were on holiday in Weymouth, and back then it was always a huge family holiday with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cats, pot plants, the lot! I’m not sure exactly how it happened but I managed to get my hands on a Panini sticker book, Football 80 it was called, and over the space of a week I’d assembled quite a collection of stickers.

Upon returning from holiday more stickers arrived until a decision was reached to order the final few, or final 150 in my case, direct from Panini. You could only order 50 per household so we had to utilise the extended family to make such a purchase, but within the specified 28 days all packages had arrived and the sticker book was complete.

It didn’t end their though because the football fascination had started, players names, club nicknames, grounds and final league placings in 1979-80 (yes, I had memorised the order of the 22 clubs in the old First Division!)

One thing troubled me though, why was that team my Dad used to go and watch no longer in the First Division? My knowledge of league placings had ascertained that Derby County had finished second to bottom, with Bolton Wanderers below them and Bristol City above them. Five years after winning the league they were now in the Second Division, and had been replaced by Leicester City, Sunderland and Birmingham City. Something was clearly wrong in the World!

Derby’s relegation was something of a story given the clubs recent history, and the mantra coming out of the Baseball Ground was “We’ll be back in 81!”. T Shirts, scarves, flags, you name it, they all had the bold statement emblazoned across them, watch out Division Two, the Rams are going to tear you apart!

I couldn’t wait, plans were afoot for a birthday treat in the November to attend my first game, against QPR, but all eyes were on the opening day of the season, August 16^th 1980, Cambridge United v Derby County

I can remember getting up that morning, beside myself with excitement. Breakfast was duly wolfed down and still in my pyjamas I ran along the lane to the Grandparents house.

“When will the football results be out?”

“The games don’t start until 3 o’clock Neil!”

So that was the first learning experience, I had no idea what time games kicked off, but from that moment it was embedded, 3pm on a Saturday.

The game came and went, I listened to second half commentary on Radio Derby, it had been a disaster, the Rams went down 3-0. The season was a failure, sixth place was the final outcome, promotion never ever a possibility, but my first game was a cracker, a 3-3 draw at the BBG with QPR. I was so upset when my Mum and Dad agreed to let me stay up to watch it on Match of the Day, only to fall asleep and miss it. No video recorders in those days! You can now watch it on You Tube though.....

So 16^th August is the day when I truly discovered football, and every so often I go to a game that falls on that date, and when that happens it always feels special, and to me, no matter how many games I’ve been to previously in a season, and no matter what day of the week it is, it always feels like the opening day again.

Alsager On Opening Day

Tonight’s game, well it’s been on the radar for a little while but only provisionally due to some debate as to where it would take place.

I saw AFC Alsager last season when they played at the MMU complex on Hassall Road, but at the end of last season it was announced that MMU were shutting the site down. When the directories came out, AFC were still on Hassall Road, but at Alsager Leisure Centre which is directly opposite MMU.

The Shadows Lengthen

Local knowledge was contradictory, some suggested the new location was indeed totally different to MMU, while others suggested that the Leisure Centre had taken over the land that the MMU sports facilities were on. However, the club confirmed, it was a new location, so it was worthy of a visit.

The Leisure Centre is next to Alsager School and in fact it’s essentially the same place. I parked in the car park just off Hassall Road and ended up having to walk a fair way through the complex to the far end to find the football pitch. In hindsight I would have been better using the entrance on Lodge Road, which those with local knowledge had the foresight to do!

I wasn’t expecting much with it being a Leisure Centre but I have to admit to being pleasantly surprised. Because the pitches are a long way removed from the buildings and set into an enclave that is surrounded by trees, it felt more like a park. The pitch was roped, but the proximity of the large trees gave it more of an enclosed feel. No furniture to speak of, but the pitch was flat and in good condition.

It'll Be Covered In Leaves By October.....

The first half was very good indeed. Alsager took the lead early via a close range header, but a cheeky back heel and a fantastic 25 yard free kick saw visiting Goldenhill take the lead. A neat individual goal scored from a tight angle made the scores 2-2 by the half time interval. Alsager’s key threat was pace, they had a couple of players who could skip past opponents with ease, it was great to watch at times.

The second half was poor by comparison, Alsager took the lead but no further goals followed. Goldenhill piled on the pressure but a combination of solid defending and poor finishing saw the points stay in Alsager. It got a bit fractious in the second period, the game became punctuated with stoppages and free kicks, plus the obligatory substitutions.

Away by 8.20, home for 9.30, and no road issues tonight for a change. It appears that according to a great many, football was invented 25 years ago today when the Premier League started. How wrong can the blinkered masses be, everyone knows it started on 16^th August 1980!

White Lines (Don't Do It)

The Golden Ticket (Part Two)

Slough Town  1  Kettering Town  2

Southern League Premier Division

The town of Slough, the name of which actually translates to ‘Soil’, is somewhat maligned in popular culture, largely due to it being the setting of David Brent’s ‘The Office’, but with a growing population of over 160,000, it perhaps needs a more balanced view taking on it.

Situated right on the M4 and also close to the edges of the M25, it services Greater London, and not only that, it’s an attractive location for business and commerce, with some large multinationals liking among other things  the excellent transport links and also the proximity of Heathrow Airport. The famous Trading Estate, fictional home of Brent’s Wernham Hogg, is the largest privately owned of its kind in Europe.

Slough is also recognised as the most ethnically diverse and multicultural town in the Country, with large Indian and Pakistani communities notable in size. Immigration it appears, started in the 1930’s with an influx of the unemployed Welsh!  

From a football perspective though, considering the size of the population and the economic advantages the business sector provides, life has not been at all easy for Slough Town.

Great Viewing Position

Originally playing at the Dolphin Stadium in the town, the club moved to Wexham Park in 1973, where they remained until 2003 when the landlords evicted them. It was during the nineties that the club was at its most successful, spending a number of years in the Conference National League. Groundsharing took place at both Windsor & Eton and Beaconsfield SYCOB while the club battled to secure a move back to the town. Consequently, a drop through the leagues took place.

After much wrangling and heartache, the club finally moved into the impressive Arbour Park at the start of last season, they are eventually back in town, and it seems the public of Slough are backing them, with large crowds tipping up for games.

Very Impressive

I walked from Slough Station along Stoke Road, it took around ten minutes to get to the ground, and once inside I have to say I was hugely impressed. The large main stand contains a clubhouse at the top with a glass viewing gallery, this also opens out to the sides where the game can be watched al fresco. The stand itself is quite steep and offers excellent views, it really is top drawer in my opinion.

Opposite is a smaller seated stand, while behind both goals are covered terraces offering an elevated view of proceedings. The pitch is artificial, which from an economic point of view is a real win for the club.

What Slough have had to wait for is fantastic, I can only see them going from strength to strength, and after missing out on promotion last season, I expect they will be in the mix this time around.

The North Bank

An impressive crowd of 760 turned up to see another of the favourites in the shape of Kettering Town, who themselves brought a large travelling support. With the sun now beating down, I chose to spend the first half behind the goal Slough were attacking, but it was the visitors who had the lead at half time thanks to a flicked header from the experienced Brett Solkhon.

Slough upped the ante at the start of the second period, and I’d now taken up a position in the smaller stand, right in front of the two chaps who were doing the commentary for Poppies Radio, and it was just as I left them to walk round to the exit that Ben Milnes scored a second for the visitors following a quick breakaway.

Almost from the re-start, James Dobson scored the best goal of the game from 25 yards but it was merely a consolation for the disappointed hosts.

The Small Stand

A quick getaway at the end meant I could get across to Reading in time for the train that would ultimately mean I could change in Chesterfield and get to meet Mark in Alfreton around 9.30 for the golden ticket handover.

I walked into the Victoria where Mark was lamenting Alfreton Town’s heavy defeat at Darlington, we chewed the fat and had a pint as football fans do before I made the two bus journey back to Belper.

What a superb day, all went like clockwork, two great hosts clubs, smashing grounds in very different ways (the oldest and also one of the newest around), while the football itself certainly kept those watching entertained.

I’ll await Mark’s next phone call eagerly, he reckons this ticket may not be the last……….. 

The Town End In The Distance